Phoenix Nights quotes

Every single line is piss funny & a quotable classic

"....covered in piss !"

"Hey you - go & sweep that cock up"

"Jackie Chan wants what ?"

"Flower for the lady ?"
"Fuck off !"

"Just had Bonny Langford out there - nearly broke her back !"

Kenny Senior is a fuckin God

look at that, he's playing his leg. very brave

bring in the moon, hes gangster trippin.

Love phoenix nights!!

Brian Potter: Right you lot out. Before I knock you out. Sling it go on, you aren't welcome. All of you leave.
Stu: I'm not going till I get a refund.
Brian Potter: Did you here that Kenny? You best make him a bed up.
Stu: I want my money back.
Brian Potter: I want to moonwalk son, but life's a shithouse. Out.

Young Kenny: Can't we disguise it?
Brian Potter: Yeah we can, we'll put a wool hat on it and say it's you.
Dodgy Eric: It's not what it looks Brian.
Brian Potter: Not what it looks. Not what it looks. It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else, it's not happening.

fckin ace it is!

"Piss flaps ? Piss flaps ?! What the hell does that mean ?"

"I'm getting the word...... NONCE"

get back yer bastards or i'll break yer legs! :rofls:

makes me chuckle every time

[Dougie Haye s has delivered a giant inflatable penis]
Dodgy Eric: Well what do you think?
Brian Potter: It's not a bouncy castle.
Dodgy Eric: You never said a castle.
Brian Potter: I said I wanted an inflatable.
Dodgy Eric: It is an inflatable.
Brian Potter: Inflatable filth

Jerry St Clair: We're not having that.
Brian Potter: You're damn right Jerry, we're not having that go on take it back.
Dodgy Eric: But Brian...
Brian Potter: It's a family fun day man, there's kiddies running around. They can't go jumping up and down on a love length

Young Kenny: Can't we disguise it?
Brian Potter: Yeah we can, we'll put a wool hat on it and say it's you.
Dodgy Eric: It's not what it looks Brian.
Brian Potter: Not what it looks. Not what it looks. It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man. It don't look like nothing else, it's not happening.

Right - I was gonna settle in for a long luxurious no-hurried wank but I'm diggin out the Phoenix Nights veee deeeee instead

Series 1 or 2 that's the question

What's a Pys-cik???? You've spelt it wrong!!!!

adamw said:

What's a Pys-cik???? You've spelt it wrong!!!!

Click to expand...

"... And the answer to number 13 is.... "The Shroud of Turin!"

"What did We have?"

"Lisa Stansfield."

Best line ever....

When the midgets got out their mini-bus, Paddy asked Max "How far away are they?

"What's in your snake-eyed pies ?"
"chicken & mushroom love"

"whoah whoah whoah - sweet child of mine"

"you are the wind beneath my wheels"

"He's bought em. And he's dropped em"

"Can you 'ear me now ?"

Brian Potter: What's the matter with you, man?

Jerry St Clair: What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's the matter with me. Me first week as licensee, I'm stood here looking like a gay Satan cos somebody sold all me clothes on t'jumble. I've been rolled round t'car park all day dressed as a hernia and I've got 12 people in casualty with rubber burns.

Brian Potter: Rubber Burns? Weren't he a Scottish poet?