HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED HUMAN BEING.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. Sh! e has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a Tramp - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -She is PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT Hooker - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants..... It is
REAR CLEAVAGE.