Did you ever have a mate who told porkies ?

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cam

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Mar 30, 2003
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In a world of my own
I did, some of his corkers were:-

He had a rock watch worth 2500.00 in his bedroom his dad wouldnt let him bring it out to show anyone cause of his value

He had a silk tea towel worth 5k same reason we never saw it

They get better !

His dads eye fell out its socket and he picked it up and pointed it round the corner to see if the ambulance was comming

His mum and dad were getting a new TV and video, he told me he was getting the vid and his sister the TV, I asked whats the use of the Video without the TV and he said he only wants it to listen to the music :S

But the greatest that ever came from this persons lips were ............................................

He swam the English channel with another mate in a rowing boat with a shot gun shooting the sharks

:rofl:

Gods honest truth the lot of them !
 
W

Wolfy

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Feb 17, 2003
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London Taan
lol. There was always the one at school who was 'going out with a girl'...who lived half way across London and no one had ever met/set eyes on etc etc.

Another said his dad drove a Porsche. Turns out he was a plumber and drove a white van! :D

Another mate said he was going on holiday to Florida, he went no further than South East London for the entire 6 weeks...we know we called! :D

I also remember some bloke at school (right hard he was :S ) who said he was related to the Krays. lol yeah whatever! We started calling him Ronnie after that and saying hes a bit 'Stoke on'. lol.
 
D

digthemusic

Active member
Mar 25, 2002
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burnley
We used to have a temp at our place who should have worn toilet paper round his neck.Lol every word was bullshit.Even in the interview he was telling the boss that he does martial arts and when the boss asked him what type he did he tried to tell him he could`nt tell him the name because it`s illigal.

He was one of those people who`d seen every thing on TV that night and played all the games on his playstation as well.Lol he must have been a comeleon.(err i think thats how you spell.)

digthemusic
 
M

Mig

Guest
A few months ago one of my mates told his bird he was going out with his work colleagues and would be on the last train home to his missus.

Told her he missed the train and couldn't get a taxi as all the cash machines were down and couldn't get any money out.

However, he was spotted at 2am stumbling around Glasgow pished and heading towards the "massage parlour"

He eventually got a taxi home at 6am, got his bird out of bed and had to get her to write a cheque for the taxi driver for £50 quid.

He wont tell anyone the "true" story of what happened that night, but who cares!!!

Nice work matey :D :D
 
K

Konspiracy

Active member
Sep 9, 2002
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Was Manchestoh, Now Yorkshire
Theres always one. A mate of mine who I still see pretty regularly liked to bend the truth occasionally, but it was so obvious it got to the point everyone was saying "bullshit!!" even when he said he was just popping down the shops

My personal favourite was "My Dad did 170 in his Merc down Longsight Road" Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm:)
 
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glazzy

New member
Jan 4, 2002
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lol some of those r brill...

had a m8(well knew a lad, wouldn't quite call him a m8) who was a compulsive liar..

me and a friend were in work 1 day and we heard a car on the main road skiddin an nearly crashin(thats wot it sounded like anyway)later that day we told him about it and he said he was test driving a new astra from the garage round the corner and a car had pulled out on him and he nearly rapped it up and that's wot the noise was...him(just so happens it was outside our works)

he used to have this tape of a mix that he had done for ministry of sound(lol) that he used to play constantly and he always used to turn it over for no reason...1 day he went out and left the tape on, we r listening to it and next thing we here is "derek kay live at mr smiths":| took the tape out of the machine and it turned out to be a tape that I had lent him!!

another night we were in mr smiths:$ (used to go a lot on thursday nights:$ ) and he said he had gone into the dj box to have a bit of a go but he couldn't cos he can't mix on 2 decks he needs 3 decks...we were laughin our heads off

another night on the way out of smiths(i'll go to hell for goin there so much) he said he'd been spiked with half a tablet and wen i asked how he knew it was only half he said "cos wen i threw up there was only a quarter left" it was quite amazin that he managed to find a quarter of it in a pool of sick!!! astonishing infact!!

there r millions more porky pies he told us but i'd be here all day:|
haven't seen him in years but his bullshit still cracks me up now!!

jayne x
 
M

Mig

Guest
glazzy said:
and he said he had gone into the dj box to have a bit of a go but he couldn't cos he can't mix on 2 decks he needs 3 decks...we were laughin our heads off
Click to expand...

hahaha :rofl: that's brilliant that is :D
 
N

nowthen

New member
Nov 6, 2002
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glazzy said:
another night on the way out of smiths(i'll go to hell for goin there so much) he said he'd been spiked with half a tablet and wen i asked how he knew it was only half he said "cos wen i threw up there was only a quarter left" it was quite amazin that he managed to find a quarter of it in a pool of sick!!! astonishing infact!!
Click to expand...

PMSL@ that!!

I used to know a kid that had verbal diarrhea (I reacon everyone knows someone like this) an heres a few of his pearlers....

That his dog used to sit at the dinner table and use a knife and fork to eat his dinner.

and me all time favourite...

That his uncle broke out of Strangeways by diggin a tunnel which come up in his front room in Wythenshaw (about 10 miles from Strangeways!!!:| )

The best bit was he used to tell you things like this tottaly straight faced an kick right off if you called him a bullshitter.
 
B

Biskit

Active member
Jun 7, 2002
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Chorley
www.chorley.fm
Tigger said:
*COUGH* Biskit - you old porkmeister you!!! :p :p
Click to expand...

lol - me??? The best has to be you Tigger :D

Tigger tried convincing us he won 30 grand on the lottery, when asked.. 'where's all ur money!' he replied.. 'Ive had to give it all to mi mum, coz I owed 30 grand board money!!'

Yeh reet!!

The best yet though, has to be when Tigger was buying a Ferrari, n then turned up wiv a honda civic, when questioned yet again, Tigger replied... 'It is a Ferrari, but I got it cheaper, coz it has a honda civic shell'.

Yeh reet!!
 
S

ste30

New member
Aug 31, 2001
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Warrington
lol glazzy u went smiths?
what a dive, still is now

theres a guy at work who im beginning to hate, i dont believe a word he says now

like already been said, he seen EVERY program last night, even tho 3 were on at same time

every convo u start he has something to chip in

why do they lie so bad? i think its so u think more of em, but whenu no they lyin u actually think less of them in the end
 
S

sirius

Registered Member
Dec 28, 2001
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Hmmn. lol. Some reet corkers coming out int there? hahaha.

I knew a few people who told porkies all the time, like a lad who said he knew Robert Englund (Freddie), that he had a stack of rare choons - but when we were going past his front door one day and I mentioned it he reckoned he had lost his keys and continued the porkie pie escapade by faking a phone call in a phone box - didnt even put a coin in, hahaha.

Then there's a lad I used to sort of know in my year at school, who since claims he's been helping writing scripts for Quentin Tarrentino too!!! lol.

The only porkie I remember Ive told is that I knew (through somebody else fictitious) Ian Bland of Dream Frequency fame!! lol. Oh dear. :$.........well, it was 11 years ago.

I realised long ago that bullshitting isnt ever a good idea, cos it always bites you on the arse eventually. Some compulsive liars I know must have a nightmare remembering who they told what lie to, and keeping track of all the deciet!!!. I couldnt be arsed with all that myself.

See ya

Sirius.
 


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