Shop Signs

[The Joker]

Sign in London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -.25 CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF.

In a laundry, on each washing machine: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use the side door)

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH; IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.

Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN.
EVERYONE WELCOME.

In a cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

In a health food shop: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.

In a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

In a hotel during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.

In a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT BE AWARE THAT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (Please knock hard on the door -- the bell doesn't work)

In an office building washroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

[ilovepiano]

Howz about this then? :p

[ilovepiano]

Oh, I give up with this bleedin' picture thing...

[The Joker]

U after this 1 m8??? Tip 4 ya hit preview reply b4 u post & u'll see whether or not the piccie's gonna work. Sum sites won't let u link thier piccies 2 another site!!!

[ilovepiano]

You're a star! Cheers mate!

[The Joker]

No worries m8, that's wot I'm here 4!!!