you can find everything you need at ASDA

[leonpride]

One day in the bar Ian says to Brendan behind him

"my elbow hurts like hell. I suppose i'd better go see the doctor"

"Listen don't waste your time down at the surgery", Brendan replies.

"theres a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you whats wrong. and what you have to do about it. It take seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor".



So Ian collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda. He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.



"You have tennis elbow. Soak your elbow in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks".



That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Ian began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.



Ian hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction and waits.



The computer prints the following........



1. Your tap water is too hard . Get a softener

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in rehab

4. Your wife is pregnant with twins , and they are not yours. Get a lawyer

5. And if you dont stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get any better......



Thank you for shopping at Asda.

[gary_gurner11]

hahaha i like tht 1

[Duke]

fooooooking class

[Dee]

LOL! Brilliant

[emmab]

Superb

[tricky nicky]

lol

[Saysay]

LOL!!

[si-hill76]

lol