Some Tommy Cooper Classics

[Jamie Lee]

I think Tommy Cooper was ace. So I thought I'd post some classics from the legend. They get me every time. You can't help but picture him telling them!





>"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
>
>"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. "
>
>"Is it common? "
>
>"It's not unusual."


>"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
>
>"Well you can't say fairer than that then"



Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other
>
>
>
> "Does this taste funny to you?"
>





>"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
>
>They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
>
>So that was nice."
>





A man walked into the doctors,
>
>The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time "
>
>The man replied "I know I've been ill"





I bought some HP sauce the other day.
>
> It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
>





I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
>couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
>
>
>
> He said, "No, the steaks are too high




Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
>
>with hundreds and thousands.
>
>Police say that he topped himself.

[Saysay]

Lolol!!

I liked the last one alot.