Wanker

[Voodooray]

>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
>it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
on
>someone you don't know.
>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
to
>make.
>I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
>I Politely said, "This is David, could I please speak with Robert
Campbell
>?"
>Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin
number!"
>and the phone was slammed down on me.
>I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
>When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that
I had
>accidentally transposed the last two digits.
>After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a Wanker!" and
hung
>up.
>I wrote his number down with the word 'Wanker'next to it, and put it
in my
>desk drawer.
>Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I'd
>call him up and yell, "
>You're a Wanker!" It always cheered me up.
>When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
'Wanker'calling
>would have to stop.
>So, I called his number and said,"Hi,this is John Smith from BT .
>I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him
back and
>said, "That's because you're a Wanker!"
>
>One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into
a
>parking spot.
>Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the
spot
>I had patiently waited for.
>I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
>idiot ignored me.
>I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
number.
>A couple of days later, right after calling the first Wanker ( I had
his
>number on speed dial,)
>I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover Wanker, too.
>I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?"
>Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
>"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house,
and the
>car's parked right out in front."
>"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said.
>"When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"
>"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
>"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?"
>"Yes?" "Steve, you're a Wanker!" Then I hung up, and added his number
to my
>speed dial, too.
>Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call.
>Then I came up with an idea. I called Wanker #1. Hello." "You're a
Wanker!"
>(But I didn't hang up.)
>"Are you still there?" he asked.
>"Yeah," I said.
>"Stop calling me," he screamed.
>"Make me," I said.
>"Who are you?" he asked.
>"My name is Steve Hansen."
>"Yeah? Where do you live?"
>"I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my
gunmetal
>grey Land Rover parked out the front."
>He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start
saying
>your prayers."
>I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Wanker," and hung up.
>Then I called Wanker #2. "Hello?" he said.
>"Hello, Wanker," I said.
>He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>"You'll do what?" I said.
>"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
>I answered, "Well, Wanker, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
>Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at
>129, Alice Street, Ilford ,
>and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I
called
>Channel 5 News about the hoodie war
>going down in Alice Street, Ilford .
>I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there
just
>in time to watch two Wankers beating the crap out of
>each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter
and a
>news crew.
>
>NOW I feel much better.
>Anger management really works...

[betty spaghetti]

Quality. PMSL

[blue jammer]

Top beans that

[Monty]

You did that for real freaky shit man

[emmab]

Thats bizarre...........did you do all that ??

[elvisontour]

IF NOT ITS BOSS

[wormaldinho]

Thats just given me an excellent ideaanthemz.com/forum/images/smilies/Dr_Evil.gif" border="0" alt="" title="dr evil" class="inlineimg" />

[Voodooray]

Originally Posted by emmab

Thats bizarre...........did you do all that ??

True story!!!...

[CANO ...]

Quality

[emmab]

Cut and pasted i reckon

[Voodooray]

Thats the South Ribble paranoia in ya Emma comin out...tut tut...

[gary_gurner11]

Originally Posted by wormaldinho

Thats just given me an excellent idea

same ere

whats the number for channel 5 news?