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  #1  
Old 11th April 2002, 04:23 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: london
Posts: 590
Talking dogs diary, cats diary....

ABSTRACTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day 1
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 2
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day 3
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

ABSTRACTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 1
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 2
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 3
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 4
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 5
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 6
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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  #2  
Old 11th April 2002, 04:26 PM
Certified No-Life'er
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: At home with my gorgeous family :-) x
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,467
Send a message via MSN to sweet sensation
Re: dogs diary, cats diary....

[quote]Originally posted by hektik
[
DAY 3
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.



Now I know what my cats are thinking......and I thought they loved me

That was top hektik

Sweet xx
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....(The Godfather of House Flirted With Me!!!)

aka sweet p, mrs c and pauly p's missus!

'You can't sit down with a record in one hand and match it to something else. It should just hit you.' - Erol Alkan
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  #3  
Old 11th April 2002, 06:06 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Back oop north!
Posts: 4,937
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Drat you posted it before me ! !lol
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  #4  
Old 11th April 2002, 06:14 PM
Moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Secret Location in Gotham City
Posts: 12,308
Re: dogs diary, cats diary....

Quote:
Originally posted by hektik
ABSTRACTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

DAY 5
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
that's how pixie's cats r gonna feel on sat bless em part from the allergy bit!!!

Class btw hektik m8!!!!
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