train journey

[turpieaj]

A nun boards a train and the only seat left is opposite a very burly skinhead. She sits down and as the train pulls off the skinhead starts eating a large bag of prawns. Every time the skinhead eat the bottom piece of the prawn and threw the head at the nun.

After about 5 mins of this the nun blew her stack and pulled on the red emergency stop cord - The train screeched to a halt.

"What the F**K did you do that for you silly B*TCH" screamed the skinhead - "You're gonna get a £100 fine for that!".

The nun turns to the skinhead and shouts "yeah and when the police turn up and I've cried rape, and I get the police to smell your fingers you'll get 10 years you cnut!"

[Northern Star]

Ooo i really shouldnt laugh but i did

[Mitch hiker]

staying on the nun mode...

After a coach full of nuns are killed in a road accident they're all lined up waiting to enter heaven. St Peter says to the first nun, "sister, have you ever touched a penis?", "well", replies the nun, "i once held a finger on one". God forgives you, says St Peter, dip your finger into the holy water and pass into heaven.

The next nun steps up and is asked the same qustion, she replies, "well, I once gripped one firmly", again god forgives her. St Peter tells her to submerge her hand into the holy water and she passes into heaven.

Just then an argument breaks out further down the line, St Peter shouts, "Sisters, whats going on there!?", one nun shouts back, "St Peter, there's no fcuking way I'm gargling that water after this mucky bitch in front has washed her arse in it!"

[Northern Star]

hahahhahah oh dear