Taliban Memo

[Shooms]

Made me chuckle anyways........


Memorandum from: Bin Laden, Osama
To: All Team Members
Subject: The Cave

Guys,

We have all been putting in very long hours, and we have really come together as a group, which is something I appreciate. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says 'There is no "I" in team', as well as the Garfield poster that says 'Hang in there, baby!' Hilarious!

However, while we are fighting a Jihad, we must not forget to take care of the cave. Frankly, I have a few concerns. First of all, while it is vital to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should also be concerned about carpet dust. This is a major health and safety issue. In order to avoid excessive dust inhalation, we need to sweep the cave daily. I take my turn in the cleaning rota....do all of you? You can keep up to date by reading the notice I have posted up in the cave reception area, next to the toasted sandwich maker.

Secondly, it is not often that I make a video address, but when I do, the object of the exercise is to deliver fear and terror to the western infidels, OK? That means that when we're taping, please do not rollerblade or ride lo-lo balls in the background, or keep doing that "Wassup!" thing with each other. It ruins the effect and, after all, it is only while we're taping.

Thirdly, there is a minor issue with food supplies. I recently
acquired a full box of Dairylea cheese triangles (low fat). I clearly wrote "Osama dude's cheesy num-nums" on the front, and put it (untouched) on the top shelf of the Welsh dresser. Today, two of my triangles have gone. Come on guys, we are in this together.
Consideration, that's all I'm asking for.

Finally, we have been provided with intelligence suggesting that there may be some western soldiers in disguise in the area, and that their aim may be to attempt to infiltrate our ranks. I wish to set up patrols to search them out. The first patrol group will consist of
Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Gavin.

There's a lotta love in this cave...awwww, group hug...

Oz

P.S. I am getting sick and tired of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my bed sheets. Knock it on the head, Abdul! It just isn't funny anymore.