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#1
6th October 2005, 10:15 AM
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| Hate Male My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you." Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour. He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded. He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart'. He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?' She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b@stard'. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: Through his chest with a sharp knife. Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? A: They can't stand criticism. Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head? A: Reload and try again! 
__________________   Everything is ok in the end, if it's not ok then it's not the end        |
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#2
6th October 2005, 08:28 PM
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#3
6th October 2005, 08:32 PM
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LOL Charlie  |
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#5
6th October 2005, 08:51 PM
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| Thicko lol Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: Ponka Its quite simple really honey......  |
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#7
7th October 2005, 09:02 AM
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__________________ Everything is ok in the end, if it's not ok then it's not the end |
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#8
7th October 2005, 09:32 AM
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| Lol, liking them vickles.
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