english teacher

[bigtruck]

A man is stood in the checkout of a superstore, when he notices a blonde eyeing him up.
"do i know you" he asks.
"I think you might be the father of one of my children" she replied.
Shock horror on his face as he answer's, "I have only been unfaithful once, when I was drunk and had sex with a stripper and her two mates, were you the one who shoved the cucumber up my arse!, or the one who whipped me with celery!, or the third who smothered herself in cream while I howled to lick it off"!.
"no", she replied, "im your son's English teacher".