you know you've got an old computer

[moonie]

when...

35. That sticker that says, "Allow steam to build to proper operating pressure before engaging hard drive."

34. When you try to link it to your son's new 2.9 gigahertz Windows XP machine it just keeps saying "What's this?"

33. That application that runs your ARPANET connection doesn't even have an icon.

32. You proudly tell everyone that nine inch screen was "state-of- the-art" when you bought it.

31. The processor is bigger than your car.

30. It takes a crew of five technicians just to power up.

29. After you went to all that trouble to learn basic, it just seemed a lot of trouble to try to learn those other operating systems.

28. Your punch card printer finally "gave up the ghost."

27. Does the word" Iniac" bring a bell?

26. A local salvage yard picked up a bunch of junked Brother Word Processors and the owner was nice enough to give you a hundred five inch floppies, giving you plenty of "extra" storage.

25. The National Computer Museum has a wonderful supply of parts at really good prices.

24. Printing your programs to ticker-tape and 'then' entering them through a reader doesn't take as much time as most people think.

23. That screaming 18 megahertz processor.

22. Microsoft Word 1.0 isn't all that bad.

21. You're afraid you'd be spoiling your kids if you got a color screen 'just' to so they can play video games on it.

20. Windows 3.1 runs fine as long as you know how to tweak on it a couple of times a day.

19. You just got used to C: prompts and don't see any need to upgrade to that newfangled Windows stuff.

18. These new high speed networks are just a luxury, moving files on floppies works just fine.

17. The case is made of wood.

16. That incredibly fast 1200 baud modem is a pretty good clue.

15. It has four megs of memory and all of the memory slots are full.

14. Your programs load off of a cassette tape.

12. You turn it on, go on holiday for a week and return to find it's still loading up.

11. The prime language is FORTRAN.

10. Lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.

9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes.

8. You have to pedal it.

7. The manual contains one sentence: "good luck!"

6. Only chip inside is a dorito.

5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.

4. You catch a virus from it.

3. Screen frequently freezes and message comes up: "Ain't it break time, Chester?"

2. While running, it emits deafening calliope music.

1. It cyber snickers at you.

:-)