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  #1  
Old 5th May 2005, 12:41 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Butty's pub :D
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,388
Send a message via MSN to Vickles
Message to all girls

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can
tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make
some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in
Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque
books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it
means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Vic
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  #2  
Old 5th May 2005, 01:05 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Liverpool Laaaaa
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,708
lol N1 Vickles!

1.How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
2.How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
3.How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
4.How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two crates instead of one
5.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
6.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
7.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough
8.What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
9.Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
10.Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
11.Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
12.What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
13.What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
14.Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.


the artist formerly know as Devilkecks
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