Football Elections

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The elections are upon the horizon so we take a look at the most serious of matters when deciding who to vote for: If the political parties were a football team who would they be?

Labour – Man U. Failing to recapture glory days of the late 90s. Most supporters have never been to the HQ. Leader’s management being questioned, current number two is tipped for top job. Claim to have Weapons of Mass Destruction, but no one has seen them yet.

Conservative – Everton. Used to be a force but seem to be losing their grip. Once again it looks like they won’t be joining Europe.

Lib Dem – Norwich. Can occasionally hold their own against any of their opponents. But generally end up being in a different league.

UKIP – Newcastle. Recently got rid of popular white-haired, sun-tanned leader. Inward fighting seems to have hit the headlines more than any results. Won’t be getting any seats at this May’s final.