Canada

[spiely]

This is so true...everyone presumes we live in igloos and know people 3500 miles away...


> Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 "Winter
Olympics", the following are some of the questions people the world over are asking.
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These questions about Canada were actually posted on an international
Tourism Website.
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Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow? (UK)
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A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
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A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-- can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
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A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
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A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
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Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
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A: Let's not touch this one.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
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A: ?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
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A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-
na-da is that big country to your north...oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every
Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
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A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
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A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is....oh forget it. Sure,
> The Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in
Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
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A: No, We don't stink.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
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A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
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A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
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A: Only at Thanksgiving.
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
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A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
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A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with
human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
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A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
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A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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[Markz]

[quote]
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
there and we'll send the rest of the directions.[quote]

Top.

[Super Freak]

LMFAO thats class m8,

[nics]

ha ha, just had a proper mad chuckle to meself ere at me desk..............never mind, im on one, got that friday feeling

[Super Freak]

Spiely put the link up m8, I recon we all pile in with realy dumb questions

Do they have toilets you can flush or do you have to squat over a hole?
that be my first one,
followed by do the moose come in diferent flavors ? cos i only like strawbery?

[spiely]

Originally Posted by Super Freak

Spiely put the link up m8, I recon we all pile in with realy dumb questions

Do they have toilets you can flush or do you have to squat over a hole?
that be my first one,
followed by do the moose come in diferent flavors ? cos i only like strawbery?

I'll see if i can find the site