Mourinho in Shock Health Scare

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Jose Mourinho’s start to life at Chelsea was dealt a huge blow when a leading doctor revealed that he feared for the Portuguese coach’s health after his head grew an extra 20 metres during his first press conference.

“It’s too big, it’s surely going to explode,” said Dr Leading.

“Just after he said ‘I am a special manager because I have won the Champions League’ his head grew so much that people were wondering if someone had switched out the lights in the room.”

“If this continues I can see British Aerospace having all sorts of problems. They have already diverted flights abroad to avoid crashing into his wallet.”