'Evil Manc' computer viruses

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Be on the lookout for a new breed of 'Evil Manc' computer viruses that could seriously affect / infect your PC.

There are many varieties of this virus, each affecting your computer in a different way. Details of each Variant of this virus are shown below.

The Manchester United Virus - This where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about every thing before 1993.

The Manchester United shirt virus - Designed to drain your bank account This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months.

The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows.

The Alex Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise. The on screen clock runs a lot slower than all the other computers in the building.

The Solskjaer virus - Will take numerous attempts to get into the net often failing completely.

The Ryan Giggs virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.

The Phil Neville virus - The worst of all, ruins all memory of basic functions and programmes, randomly delivering data to the wrong goal. Also weakens all communications within the network

Dressing Room virus - Appears when the system fails. Reboot may be dangerous.