One Liners...

[ZENZEN]

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 mins.



What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual Harassment.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? £3.99 a minute.



Why is so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.



What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.



What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.



What is the difference between a battery and a man?
A battery has a positive side.



A brunette, a blonde, and a red head are all in year 10. Who has the biggest breasts?
The blonde, because she's 18.



Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off, you wonder where the breasts went.



Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be
able to support you.



I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.



Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%
It is called Wedding Cake.



Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring,
Suffering.



In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
"I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."



Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

[dj_jam]