OSA Radio - Old Skool Music 24/7

Listeners @

bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult) bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult) bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult) bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult) bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult)
'Open' when prompted to play in your chosen player

Download The App

Download Free Old Skool Mixes

BBDD Easter

Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult)

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2004

    bloke with tourettes in restaurant(adult) Long but well worth the read

    This bloke with Tourette's Syndrome walks into the most exclusive restaurant in town. Where's the pissing, motherfucking manager, you cocksucking arsewipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters. The waiter is taken-aback and replies,'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here. I will get the manager as soon as I can'. The manager comes over and the bloke asks, 'Are you the chicken-fucking manager of this bastard place? 'Yes sir, I am,' replies the manager, 'but I would prefer it if you could refrain from speaking such profanities in this, a private restaurant'. 'Fuck off' replies the bloke 'and where's the fucking piano? 'Pardon?' says the manager. 'Fucking deaf as well, are we? You snivelling little piece of shit, show me your cunting piano. 'Ah,' replies the manager, 'you've come about the pianist job' and shows the bloke to the piano. 'Can you play any blues? 'Of course I fucking can,' and the bloke proceeds to play the most inspiring and beautiful sounding honky-tonk blues that the manager has ever heard. 'That's superb. What's it called? 'I tried to shag yer missus on the sofa but the springs kept hurting my dick,' replies the bloke. The manager is a bit disturbed and asks if the bloke knows any jazz. The bloke proceeds, playing the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard. 'Magnificent,' cries the manager. 'What's it called? 'I Wanted a wank over the washing machine but I got my balls caught in the soap drawer'. The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads. The bloke then plays the most heartbreaking melody the manager has ever heard, 'And what's this called?' asks the manager. As I fuck you under the stars with the moonlight shining off your hairy ring-piece,' replies the bloke The manager is highly upset by the bloke's language but offers him the job on condition that he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers. This arrangement works well for a couple of months until one night, sitting opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid his eyes on. She's wearing an almost see through dress, her breasts are almost falling out the top of her black lace bra,and the skimpy little 'G string she's wearing is doing very little to conceal her ample charms. She's sitting there with her legs slightly open, sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots as the butter is dripping down her chin. The image is too much for the bloke and he scurries off to the Gents to furiously masturbate. He's tugging away furiously when he hears the manager's voice. 'Where's that bastard pianist? He just has time to relieve himself, and in a fluster he runs back to the piano having not bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and starts playing some more tunes. The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your knob and bollocks are hanging out your trousers and dripping spunk on your shoes? The bloke replies 'Know it? I fucking wrote it.
    Last edited by italooldskool; 23rd October 2004 at 10:05 AM.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2002

    There = that place
    Their = belonging to them
    They're = they are

    Your = belonging to you
    You're = you are

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Mint that,

    100% Old Skool Internet Radio Hazy Dayz info below
    Keeping it real keeping it old skool

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jul 2001

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Dec 2003

    lol thats gonna do the rounds- class

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2004

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts