Rhyming Slang

[flange]

GOING FOR A McShit = Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is Mcshit with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE = One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS = Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT = The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS = The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC = Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL = Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS = Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

BRUCE LEE = Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

DRINK-LINK = A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.

SSSSSSSSSSHHHH1111111111111TTTTTTTTTTTTT = The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

GREYHOUND = A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS = A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES = The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fu(k-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH = A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo! Oo! > Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS = The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI = The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA = Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARL HARBOUR = Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO AR$E = A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.

SALAD DODGER = An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT = A homosexual.

SWAMP-DONKEY = A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL = Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

TITANIC = A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER = A lesbian.

UP ON BLOCKS = Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

WALLACE AND GROMIT = Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

WYNONA RYDER = Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen

[cam]

lol quality

[ilovepiano]

Here's a few more...

Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest (A k a the Cleveland Steamer). This woman then becomes the "lunch lady".

The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Airtight - A woman is said to be airtight when her anus, vagina, and mouth are all full of penis.

Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you It is the same grip that rodeo folks use Hence, western

The Blumpkin - Getting a blowjob while on the toilet.

Donkey Punch - While enjoying a woman doggy style, moments before you cum, sticking your penis in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up. Variations include kidney punches.

Frothy Walrus - As a man climaxes during a blowjob, he makes a joke, causing the blower to laugh, thus expelling the semen out his or her nose.

Strawberry Shortcake - After a man ejaculates on his partners face, he punches them in the nose. The blood and semen mix to for a pinkish red-and-white streaked mess, looking much like a strawberry shortcake.

Tony Danza - Variant of the donkey punch. Includes the male asking the female, "Who's the boss?" Before she can answer, she is punched in the back of the head, whereupon the man says, "Tony fuckin' Danza."

Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over another person (a k a - watersports).

Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever a man cums on the neck/cleavage area of a person - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a someone is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into their cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

Fishhook - When having sex from behind, hook your fingers into their mouth and pull back, baring the teeth.

Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over your lover's face, aiming for an eye. You then punch the soiled eye.

The Woody Woodpecker - When someone is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on their forehead.

Dogs in a Tub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a person's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i e Jell-O, olive oil, etc. Popularized by comedian Chris Rock.

The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by having sex from behind, and then just when your partner is really enjoying it, you grab onto them somehow as tightly as possible and call out another person's name, usually an ex. Then hold on as long as you can as they try to buck you off.

Snowjob - Blowjob involving ice cubes.

The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which, while doing your partner from behind, you insert your finger into said person's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across their upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes them look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez. Frat house variants include sneaking up on an unsuspecting frat brother after soiling your own finger, placing it below their nose, and yelling, "Dirty Sanchez!"

Zebra - When two black people enjoy one white person.

The ChiliDog - You take a poo on a girl's breasts and then place your penis between her breasts. Also accomplished after anal sex without the pooing.

Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over your partners face and laying a hot shit there. Particularly popular in Japan. Also known as Fudge Topping.

Ray-Bans - Put your testicles over your partner's eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forhead.)

Snowmobile - Always a blast. When getting your partner while they're on all fours, sweep out their arms out so they fall on her face.

Chaugle - To shit in your mates drawers. In usage, "I gave him Chaugle Pants".

High-Fiving - When two men are enjoying the same partner from opposite ends.

Chicken - A woman, while riding a man's cock, chokes him until he's unconscious.

Felching - After a man ejaculates into someone's anus, he sucks it out through a straw. Popular in Los Angeles.

Crossed Swords - A blowjob involving two penises at one time. Three becomes a Jawbreaker.

Docking - Popular among gay men. Pulling the foreskin of one penis over the head of the partner's, to create a "penis fuck".

Lucky Pierre - When three men have formed a sex train, the lover in the middle is known as the "Lucky Pierre".

New Jersey Meat Hook - When a man is having sex with a woman from behind, he then places a finger in her anus to pull him up and down his penis.

Perfect Ten - The maximum number of men a woman can pleasure at one time. So called because of the math involved: one each in the mouth, anus, and vagina, one in each hand, one in the crook of each elbow, one in the bend of each knee and one between the feet.

Shanghai Surprise - When you find out your lover is not the sex you thought they were, you've been given the Shanghai Surprise.

Dutch Oven - Rather simple. Whenever you pass gas while in bed, pull the covers over both of your head so your partner can enjoy your pork and beans as well.

[flange]

Originally Posted by ilovepiano

Here's a few more...

.

Very good! I like these!

[Zedwoo]

Sounds like the handy work of the profanasaurus.