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  #1  
Old 26th May 2004, 11:42 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
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Symptoms of being over 30...

Bastards.... I see myself in quite a few of these... Damn it I'm gonna be 18 till I die....

1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".

2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going
clubbing.

3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
dreaming of having a son who might instead.

4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
section.

5. You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.

6. All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he's only 46.

7. Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.

8. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they'll be all right for the garden.

9. You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.

10. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving
properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an
electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man
for the car to deter would-be thieves.

11. You start to worry about your parents' health.

12. You complain that ecstasy's "not as pure as it used to be coz you
know that if you have some it will take about 48 hours to recover and
anyway, you might look a bit of an idiot."

13. Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to
buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.

14. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace
and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
child.

15. Pop music all starts to sound crap.

16. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't have any
pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle of
house white.

17. You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.

18. You always have enough milk in.

19. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and
franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not
turned into your parents.

20. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time
Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.

21. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

22. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.

23. You wish you had a shed.

24. You have a shed.

25. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and "Of
course, in my day...."

26. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has
some really interesting guests on.

27. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.

28. When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging
baskets.

29. You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.

30. You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time,
and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that you
are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon and
have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're old and frail
and incontinent and you can't go on p**sing your life up against a wall
forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every time a
swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of
stainless steel saucepans for 99 quid, they cost as much as 35 each if
you buy them separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in, ...

31. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"
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  #2  
Old 26th May 2004, 11:56 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Bournemouth/Amsterdam
Posts: 2,606
dear oh dear - i'm over 30

there was only one on there i didn't agree with ....and thats cos ive been buying plain t-shirts for years

Radio 2 is deffo more interesting than Radio 1
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  #3  
Old 26th May 2004, 11:56 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: acidic heavenly dub
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,258
Heh, funny old world innit?

Here's one to counteract all those points.

Welcome to the 30's

The dirty thirties

Nuff said.
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