The truth about life........

[ads]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Hoover and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Granny's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 18 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

[Northern Star]

hmmmm....its very worrying ads that it is all true....

[Lozzie]

LMAO, well funny, I love observational humour!!

[northern minx]

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

aye tis true that! lol

good thread, funny and ironic

['Shabba']

Originally Posted by ads

7) Never hold a Hoover and a cat at the same time.

That has had me quite literally crying with laughter!!!!!!!

I've seen how my cats react when i switch the hoover on!!!!

[Nemesis]

ROFL thats classic!

[joe.m.n.dazzy.b]

PMSL !!!
ive taken note ov the success part + will keep ya informed ov my progress!





oops^^^^ wot happens if ya piss yourself wen yr nearl 30 ??

[Northern Star]

Originally Posted by joe.m.n.dazzy.b

PMSL !!!






oops^^^^ wot happens if ya piss yourself wen yr nearl 30 ??

Lolat u 'pmsl' literally...time for the tena lady me thinks!