one for the lads

[CANO ...]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> Rules from the male side. These are our rules:-
>
> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE AS THEY ARE ALL
> THE ONE GOLDEN RULE
>
> 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do
> it. Don't try to change that.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
> girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,
> you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
> about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or
> the changing of the tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
> going to think of it that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
> one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do
> not work! Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what
> your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
> problem. See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> an argument. In fact, all comments become null
> and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
> ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
> ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or
> angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
> how you want it done. Not both. If you already
> know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
> to say during commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
> neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows
> default settings. Peach, for example, is a
> fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
> have no idea what Mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you
> are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
> anything you wear is fine. Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex,
> Sport, or Cars.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this
> to as many women as you can - to give them an education!