I apologise in advance

[RetroAndy]

Peter Ridsdale and Leeds PR manager Max Clifford have decided to make
> a film of Leeds' incredible season. The press have commented in recent
> weeks that, "You could't script the soap opera that is Leeds United",
> so to get their own back and make some much-needed money, the pair
> decide to make a movie.
>
> A host of hollywood stars-including Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Arnold
> Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone-are big admirers of Leeds and
> have already expressed their desire to feature in the film, and even
> help fund the project. In the press conference, the excited stars are
> asked: "Who are you likely to play in the movie?"
>
> "I'd like to play Mark Viduka," says Mel Gibson, "being an Aussie and
> all."
>
> Bruce Willis pipes up, "I'd have to be the all-action, no-fear Danny
> Mills. I've even got the bald head."
>
> Sly Stallone witily slurs: "I'd like to play Alan Smith, coz he is
> much like I am in my gun-wielding action movies - a great finisher."
>
> The press are intrigued and ask Arnie: "Where do you see yourself
> fitting into all this?"
>
> Arnie leans forward, takes off his shades and says, "I'll be Bakke."

[johns_ar]

corny but funny