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Old 10th July 2003, 04:28 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Crusading in Johnsville Tennessee
Posts: 2,726
Things you would never know without the movies...

...All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.


...If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.


...All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.


...All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.


...It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.


...Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.


...The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.


...If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.


...You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.


...Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.


...The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.


...A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.


...When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.


...Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.


...If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.


...Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.


...Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.


...The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.


...Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.


...Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.


...Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.


...All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.


...It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.


...A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
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