Apologies in Advance

[fugjostle]

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

How Do You Catch A Unique bird?
Unique Up On It.

How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It .

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.

What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.

Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight seal.

What's the difference between sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
She's withholding evidence.

What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.

Why is sex like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

[The Joker]

Not all groaners m8 me fav was

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.