ATM machines

[Crystal]

Think I may have posted this before - but I've just come across it again and it made me giggle.......



Please note that the HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-though" ATM machines.

Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.

To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures
have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances(i.e MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the machine for the first time.


MALE PROCEDURE
* 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
* 2. Wind down your car window.
* 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
* 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
* 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
* 6. Wind up window
* 7. Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE
* 1. Drive up to cash machine
* 2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
* 3. Re-start the stalled engine
* 4. Wind down the window
* 5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.
* 6. Turn the radio down
* 7. Attempt to insert card into machine
* 8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car.
* 9. Insert card
* 10. Re-insert card the right way up
* 11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page
* 12. Enter PIN.
* 13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
* 14. Enter amount of cash required
* 15. Check make up in rear view mirror
* 16. Retrieve cash and receipt
* 17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
* 18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
* 19. Re-check make-up again drive forwards 2 metres
* 21. Reverse back to cash machine
* 22. Retrieve card
* 23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place car into the slot provided
* 24. Give appropriate one-finger signal to irate male drivers
queuing behind
* 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
* 25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
* 26. Release handbrake

[fugjostle]

hehe... so true its funny