Supposed True Snappy Answers

Snappy Answer No. 1
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened His
coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
Your stub."

Snappy Answer No. 2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker,
"Do these chickens get any bigger?" He replied, "No, they're dead."

Snappy Answer No. 3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for
Speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
policeman said. The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way
without a ticket.

Snappy Answer No. 4
A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge
ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck?" The lorry driver
says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."

and finally

No. 5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their
laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have
to write the exam with your other hand.>

[The Joker]

qualiteeeeeeeeeee

[fugjostle]

good stuff... made me laff

[Miss Cola]

Lol!!