Funny Quotes

[The Joker]

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how
bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) ==================================
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball
is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed
like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
================================
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for
reincarnation. The other
eight are unimportant."
George Burns
==================================
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you
don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
==================================
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
==================================
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
==================================
"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
=================================
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
==================================
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
==================================
"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
==================================
"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than
they do undressing in
front of otherwomen. They say that women are
too judgmental, where,
of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
==================================
"There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
=================================
"There's very little advice in men's
magazines, because men think,
I know what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
==================================
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going
to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house."
Rod Stewart
=================================
.. . . and last but not least . . .
"You know that look
women get when they want sex?
Me neither."
Steve Martin

[fugjostle]

"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

LOL.. some classics there

[rickyp]

Quality stuff LMAO

[Miss Cola]

"There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

Lol, i wouldnt complain!! :p

[northern minx]

"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how
bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

absolute classics!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!:p

[chris.b]

ah yes, divorce from the latin word, meaning to rip a mans genitals through his wallet! nice 1