A few for the ladies.

[JohnnyPink]

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and they're all over you.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, men will screw anything.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So oxygen can get to their brains.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women.

What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job.

The three words most hated by men during sex?
"Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
"Honey, I'm home!"

Men Are Like...

Men are like... place mats. They only show up when there's food
on the table.

Men are like... mascara. They usually run at the first sign of
emotion.

Men are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but
otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like... government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like... parking spots. All the good ones are taken.

Men are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but
that's about it.

Men are like... lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that
bright.

Men are like... bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't
generate much interest.

Men are like... high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get
the hang of it.

Men are like... miniskirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep
up your legs.

[The Joker]

class m8