More Blonde jokes

[JohnnyPink]

How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.

How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it.

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

How does a blonde moonwalk?
She pulls down her panties and slides her arse along the floor.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.

How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.

How do you drown a blond?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.

How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
They're too hard to peel.

Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her ankles warm.

What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
Full.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
She didn't know what ONE came first...

Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.

How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
The blonde has the higher sperm count.

What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a
blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a £10 note. Who picks it up?
The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
Butter is difficult to spread.

What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.

What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A brain tumor.

[The Joker]

noice 1's m8y