I'm not drunk......

[Crystal]

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and
my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle
down the sink, or else... After careful consideration,
I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the
unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first
bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the
exception of one glass, which I drank.
Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and
did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and
poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink
and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank
one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the
cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the
glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with
one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks
with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the
houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had
all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not
under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so
feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand
here, the longer I get.

[Fiona]

lmao nice one