A Push and A Little Rabbit

[Cazza]

(Not all of you will have heard this one before)

Little Rabbit
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again , " my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! ... Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the sh*t out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little f*cker! He makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours each time he is on ecstasy."


A Push
Bill and Jean in bed asleep 3 o'clock in the morning when they wake to loud knocking on the front door. "You go" says Jean. "I'm not answering the door this time of night" said Bill. "Don't be rotten – someone might need help" she presses. By now Bill is wide awake so gets up puts on his dressing gown and opens the door and there stands a stranger. "Can you give me a push" he says to Bill. "Do what? You're having a f***ing laugh" and slams the door in the man's face. He gets back into bed and tells Jean what happened. "Oh Bill, why didn't you help him? The other night when you broke down two blokes gave you a push – and you were grateful. Why don't you give something back by helping out this bloke?" Bill didn't want to be nagged all night so puts back on his dressing gown, goes back downstairs, opens the door and steps outside in the dark. "D'ya still want this push". "Yeah" says the man. "Well where are ya?" says Bill and the man replies "Over here - on the swing".

[The Joker]

Noice 1's m8!!!

[Fiona]

lmao