Roy Keane-ian Rhapsody

[ZENZEN]

Roy Keane-ian Rhapsody (with apologies to the late, great Freddie Mercury and Queen!!) - Enjoy


Mama, just kicked a man.
There's a screw loose in my head,
Because I tried to break his leg,

Fergie, the seasons just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away!

Forlan! Ooh -ooh - ooh,

Makes me want to sigh!

We'd score more goals with Sid James or Kenneth Williams,
Carry On,
Camping,
The whole teams just in tatters.

Too late, my crime is done,
Tried to mangle Alfie's spine,
Now he's aching all the time,

Goodbye M1ck McCarthy, I've got to go,
Got to leave the squad behind, 'cos I'm a t**t!

Veron! Ooh -ooh - ooh
He doesn't seem to try,
I sometimes wish he'd never been bought at all.


(guitar solo)


(Opera Section)


I see a little packaged sandwich filled with prawns,



LAURENT BLANC! LAURENT BLANC!
HE'S JUST SLOW, OLD AND USELESS!

Brown & Neville fighting, very very frightening indeed!!!


WHERE IS RIO ?,

Where is Rio?,

WHERE IS RIO?,

Where is Rio?,

Because Laurents far too slow! He's far too slow-ow-ow-ow-ow.....


I'm just a head-case, nobody loves me!

HE'S JUST A HEADCASE, WALKED OUT ON, HIS COUNTRY!

SPARE US THE WHINES FROM HIS GAFFER IF YOU PLEASE!


Here it comes, Open goal - Forlan must score.

HE WILL NOT!

No! He's simply got to score!

HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE!

No! He's simply got to score!

HE WILL NOT, NEVER, EVER SCORE!

NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE, NEVER, EVER SCORE.........

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!


Oh where is Rio? where is Rio?


Has he really stubbed his toe ?


Beelzebub take the Nevilles from my side, Oh Please ?

Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeaaaase?


(Guitar riff)


So you think that I punch refs and spit in their eyes?

Would I kick Alan Shearer and leave him to die?

Oh baby, Even though I seem crazy,

I'm Roy the Red, rich, thick and madder each year.


(Slow bit)


All the guys I've clattered.....even poor Alfie!

Now I've got a Court case...........I just want to kick folk, you see ?

Tell me where did M1ck go ?



There's a big scouser sitting at a small gay bar on a tropical island having a few beers. He's about 6'5 and 16 stone.
This little fella, obviously gay, walks up to the bar, sits next to him and has a martini.
After 2 or 3 drinks the little gay fella plucks up the courage to talk to the big scouser, and says ' do you want a b***job'.
The big scouser, with fire coming out of his ears, jumps up and batters the little gay fella to a pulp, before taking him outside and dumping him in a big rubbish container.
The scouser comes back and sits at the bar. The barman runs over with a beer and says 'blimey, I have never seen you react like that before Oscar, what did he say to you'.
To which the big scouser replies ' not sure, something about a job'.

[hypnoSiS]

pure class---had me in stitches