fekking fek fek fekking printer

[sirius]

whats wrong with my bloody f**king printer?

Three hours or more Ive been trying to print ONE document.

I plugged the old printer in, set it up, intsalled it, did a print, but the carts had dried up - so Im there with a dish of warm water easing the ink back out, puts it in and prints out the thing I want......however theres all dust in the printer and it smudges it like a right c*nt.

So, I tale the carts out and clean the heads, scraping off the welded on crud and removing dust with a wet tissue. So, I puts it all back and tries to print - only the orange light is continously flashing above the power switch, the paper feed button.

So after an hour of kicking the living sh!t out the printer and cursing at it like theres no tomorrrow, I turn everything off (again) and try switching the printer on without the computer on. This then comes on without the amber light, but you cant feed a sheet through by pressing the button like youre supposed to.

I switch the computer back on, and then the orange light comes on as soon as I have logged in. When I look in the printers in the control panel it says hp690c (1) as in 1 document still to print. Its still in the bloody spooler thing even though Ive clicked cancel, delete, and even rebooted the PC a few times.

Eventually I got shut of it, and tried another print, which just caused the orange light to flash again, and again the document just wont go from the system!....

I turned the printer on and off a few times, and a paper fed through with a 'diagnostic report' on it. So the paper feed must work, the document tells me nothing od great value.

Fek me. This is getting o my tits now real bad. Ive tried the machanism, looks ok, the trays in, the carts are in, lids down, paper feeder type set correctly, leads are in right, printers set up right on the pc as far as I can tell, and at nearly four hours of fannying around it still wont print!

What the hells wrong with it?

[JohnnyPink]

Originally Posted by sirius

whats wrong with my bloosy f**king printer?

Three hours or more Ive been trying to print ONE document.

I plugged the old printer in, set it up, intsalled it, did a print, but the carts had dried up - so Im there with a dish of warm water easing the ink back out, puts it in and prints out the thing I want......however theres all dust in the printer and it smudges it like a right c*nt.

So, I tale the carts out and clean the heads, scraping off the welded on crud and removing dust with a wet tissue. So, I puts it all back and tries to print - only the orange light is continously flashing above the power switch, the paper feed button.

So after an hour of kicking the living sh!t out the printer and cursing at it like theres no tomorrrow, I turn everything off (again) and try switching the printer on without the computer on. This then comes on without the amber light, but you cant feed a sheet through by pressing the button like youre supposed to.

I switch the computer back on, and then the orange light comes on as soon as I have logged in. When I look in the printers in the control panel it says hp690c (1) as in 1 document still to print. Its still in the bloody spooler thing even though Ive clicked cancel, delete, and even rebooted the PC a few times.

Eventually I got shut of it, and tried another print, which just caused the orange light to flash again, and again the document just wont go from the system!....

I turned the printer on and off a few times, and a paper fed through with a 'diagnostic report' on it. So the paper feed must work, the document tells me nothing od great value.

Fek me. This is getting o my tits now real bad. Ive tried the machanism, looks ok, the trays in, the carts are in, lids down, paper feeder type set correctly, leads are in right, printers set up right on the pc as far as I can tell, and at nearly four hours of fannying around it still wont print!

What the hells wrong with it?

It's broke.

soz bud, crap when it comes to anything to do with comps. Hope ya get it sorted. Good luck.

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by jonnykip

It's broke.

laff my cock off hee hee

sorry Sirius - I cant offer any help here but Jonny's post did make me laff

[sirius]

Ive really beat the living crap out of it this afternoon. I dunno if its the printer or the PC. Either way, Im going to give it another few tries and if it wont play nicely, a visit to Mr and Mrs Rubbish Tip is going to be on the cards for both lumps of crap. Thats after Ive smashed it with a dirty great hammer and thrown it out of the window onto the driveway below.

Sirius.

[sirius]

"Right, thats it. I warned you. I told you what Id do. Yore gonna get it. Right. Here we go, take that, that, that and that. Had enough? - No? well , take that that and that too and see how you like that!".

lol.


Thats it, I quit.

Sirius.

[blue jammer]

You really don't have much luck with technology do you?

I'd sell up and buy a guitar and a typewriter

[Konspiracy]

Originally Posted by sirius

"Right, thats it. I warned you. I told you what Id do. Yore gonna get it. Right. Here we go, take that, that, that and that. Had enough? - No? well , take that that and that too and see how you like that!".

lol.


Thats it, I quit.

Sirius.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, quality that is..Im gonna thrash you within an inch of your liife

Take a baseball bat to it, youll feel a lot better

[johns_ar]

printers werent built to work i dont think, i fukking hate em me, dont have one now just print stuff i need off at work

best bet sirius m8, although blue jammers advice is good, get rid! lol

[ScottE]

Sirius,

Fek me mate, your comical. Had a great laugh reading the post.

Scott