The laughably predictable Toon rant...

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Apologies in advance...

Madness madness madness madness madness.

Did ever a club shoot themselves in the foot with such monotonous regularity and comic timing?

These days you can almost set your watch by the ridiculous soap-opera goings on at Barrack Road.

It's like Frank Spencer fleeing about on his rollerskates, or bombing around that building site on that moped. Only not funny. Deeply worryingly not funny. Not funny to me, anyway, whereas I know a lot of yous will be pissing yourselves. I envy you.

For what it's worth, here's the 2 pennorth of a lifelong supporter...
I do realise most people probably don't give a shiny shite, but writing this is therapy for me...

I thought Allardyce was the right man for the Toon manager's job. Still do. But i would also say that it took him a numbe rof years to get Bolton to where they were. given all the changes that were needed at Newcastle (backroom staff, academy, coaching/scouting methods, diet management, opta analysis, improvements to medical facilities etc.) to have given the guy such a short time in the chair seems like utter lunacy to me. I know he was brought in by the previous chairman... but still... he was brought in supposedly because of the way he revolutionised Bolton in the above areas. To put a line through that by sacking the guy so soon, to me, just sends all the wrong messages.

Worrying for me, is that Mike Ashley had a real opportunity to set a new precedent at Newcastle. He must have seen the ridiculous media-driven laughing stock the previous lot of Delboys let the club become, with their managerial merry-go-round, and their schoolyard litigation & mouthing off in the press. He had a real chance to do things differently. To bring a cool head, some business acumen and real management skill to the table. To be taken seriously, and have the club taken seriously too, for the first time in many years (the Keegan 5 year flash-in-the-pan not included).

By sacking Sam Allardyce (and so soon after all of Chris Mort's comments about how ridiculous all the rumours were) sends all the wrong messages. It tells the world that the new owners & top management are no different than the old crowd. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Mike Ashley already has a reputation in the world of business for being a bit of a loose cannon, and acting unpredictably. The Allardyce debacle just serves as proof of that in my eyes.

However, what's done is done... who will take the job?

Redknapp would have been insane to take the job. As would Shearer who, I feel sure, has more sense. Mark Hughes would be mental to leave Blackburn. Mike Ashley's link to that bloke from Spurs is a worry, I wouldn't want to see Martin Jol at wor place... and don't even joke about Steve McLaren. That's not even remotely funny... but in all seriousness... I can't see any manager worth their salt leaving a club at which they are established in order to take on the fool's gamble (because that's what it is) of managing Newcastle.

Actually, thinking about it, it's not a fool's gamble really is it? Allardyce is nobody's fool. It'll certainly be the quickest 6m quid he's ever trousered (as well as possibly the easiest). Just watch now another club snap him up...

Come on Mike Ashley. Sort it once and for all. Empty your coffers & bring in Mourinho. He's the protege of the genius Sir Bobby Robson, and that fact alone makes him the only man who will now do for me.

It'll certainly take a cheque the size of the Milburn stand (and possibly offers of bumsex) to tempt him, but he's the only one I can think of who might just be mental enough to take it on. He might take it on to stick 2 fingers up at Chelsea and everyone else. Who knows, a challenge like Newcastle United might just be the only one big enough in world football to satisfy his ego.

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by Sheikh Yerbouti

Come on Mike Ashley. Sort it once and for all. Empty your coffers & bring in Mourinho. He's the protege of the genius Sir Bobby Robson, and that fact alone makes him the only man who will now do for me.

It'll certainly take a cheque the size of the Milburn stand (and possibly offers of bumsex) to tempt him, but he's the only one I can think of who might just be mental enough to take it on. He might take it on to stick 2 fingers up at Chelsea and everyone else. Who knows, a challenge like Newcastle United might just be the only one big enough in world football to satisfy his ego.

He's the one mate that would have the gonads to take on the job.... provided he gets total & utter autonomy / jurisdiction over the team.

I for one would love to see Maureen back... English Football is sadly lacking a character like him...

[U31]

Your marks are 8 out of ten on the rant scale.
It definitely rates an 8, purely for imaginative use of the English language, painting beautifully clear and vivid pictures in the minds eye.
The mark down of 2 whole points is only due the complete lack of colourful and interesting profanity.


Must do better.



By the way, Allardyce is a C**T. Facto.

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Originally Posted by Shooms

He's the one mate that would have the gonads to take on the job.... provided he gets total & utter autonomy / jurisdiction over the team.

I for one would love to see Maureen back... English Football is sadly lacking a character like him...

Yes. As much as I hate the fucker, I have to agree.

But let's be realistic. Our chairman does not own Lillywhites, he owns Sports Direct. He does not own Nike or Adidas... he owns Dunlop.

In other words, for all his £1bn, he shops at life's Netto.

It's gonna be McJoker... I just know it is... or worse, the plastic Geordie himself. The one man on earth who could give Steven Fry lessons in bent-nosedness... I can't even bring myself to type out his name... If it is him... I will personally burn his house down.

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Originally Posted by U31

Your marks are 8 out of ten on the rant scale.
It definitely rates an 8, purely for imaginative use of the English language, painting beautifully clear and vivid pictures in the minds eye.
The mark down of 2 whole points is only due the complete lack of colourful and interesting profanity.


Must do better.



By the way, Allardyce is a C**T. Facto.

PMSL that'll be a ten then
The situation at Newcastle is beyond profanity fella...

[U31]

It's gonna be McJoker... I just know it is... or worse, the plastic Geordie himself. The one man on earth who could give Steven Fry lessons in bent-nosedness... I can't even bring myself to type out his name... If it is him... I will personally burn his house down.

Can i come and watch?


Edited for stupidity!

[blandy]

The geordies are doomed

F T M

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Originally Posted by U31

Can i come and watch?


Edited for stupidity!

I reckon there'll be a canny crowd.
Mostly wearing black & white & carrying cans of petrol.

[Shooms]

BBC SPORT | Football | My Club | Newcastle United | Keegan in shock Newcastle return

Will the bottler last the season though ?

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

hell's teeth.
talk about a bad fucking soap opera.
forget all hopes of being able to defend.

will be interesting to see how he approaches it though.
i can't see him being given loads of cash to hoy aboot like he had last time.

still, grateful for small mercies, it could have been so much worse.
and thank God Shearer's name is nowhere near it.

[T.C]

blimey!

[Konspiracy]

Just been on the radio, Keegan has resigned already, couldnt handle the pressure apparantly

I'll try and find a link..

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by Konspiracy

Just been on the radio, Keegan has resigned already, couldnt handle the pressure apparantly

I'll try and find a link..

LOL

[mr ben]

appointing managers is a very tough job , it just seems to me that everything newcastle do they do to prove they are a big club ( which is highly debatable anyway ) like signing micheal owen whilst your defence was in tatters , and to me this seems like another example of the short sightedness which has got the club where it is today..........

keegan is no doubt a fantastic motivator, but im afraid the game has moved on since he was last in charge at newcastle and we all know about his tactical capabilities

now with regards to all the managers who were apparently in the running , i think there was only houllier who has actually won anything in the english game and he hasnt even been mentioned in this thread , two league cups an fa cup , a uefa cup , a european super cup and a couple of charity shields would have had the geordies doing cartwheels for years

it seems to me the chairman has bottled it and gone for the easiest option to appease the fans ..... it will all end in tears


oh and by the way .... joey bartons year just got a whole lot worse because to say those two dont get on is the understatment of the year

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Originally Posted by mr ben

appointing managers is a very tough job , it just seems to me that everything newcastle do they do to prove they are a big club ( which is highly debatable anyway ) like signing micheal owen whilst your defence was in tatters , and to me this seems like another example of the short sightedness which has got the club where it is today..........

keegan is no doubt a fantastic motivator, but im afraid the game has moved on since he was last in charge at newcastle and we all know about his tactical capabilities

now with regards to all the managers who were apparently in the running , i think there was only houllier who has actually won anything in the english game and he hasnt even been mentioned in this thread , two league cups an fa cup , a uefa cup , a european super cup and a couple of charity shields would have had the geordies doing cartwheels for years

it seems to me the chairman has bottled it and gone for the easiest option to appease the fans ..... it will all end in tears


oh and by the way .... joey bartons year just got a whole lot worse because to say those two dont get on is the understatment of the year

Lots of points made here mate, most of which I agree with.
I don't wanna get into a whole "big club or not" debate, obviously I believe we are. Terminal underachievers without doubt, but in terms of weight of 'proper' genuine support, undoubtedly in the top 5 in this country (slag me off for that comment all you want, I won't argue it, that's just my opinion).

It does seem like an idiotic gamble only someone like Keegan would go for. The man has everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain by taking over.

As for Michael Owen, he was signed by the last chairman (Trotters Independent Traders PLC) I doubt very much that whoever was in the managers' chair that week had much say in the matter. That was just how they liked to do things. And why when they left I was filled with optimism for change for the better, which makes this current Keystone Cops routine all the more distasteful.

I think you're totally right about the motives being appeasing the fans, and that it's a shortsighted panic appointment. It's obvious to me that all the chopping and changing is never gonna improve things. The board need to have some backbone and to actually give someone a decent chance in the job. Some money and some time to improve things. It's the only way. Another reason this whole KK thing is madness. I also totally agree that the game has moved on. I think KK will find that out very soon, and this time without John Hall's voluminous cheque-book to fall back on. Oh dear Mr. Keegan. I do so hope I'm wrong...

As for Houllier, can't argue against his track record, I just wonder if he'd be a strong enough character. I suspect he got an easier ride off the Liverpool fans than he ever would at Newcastle. I think that pretty much sums up the whole problem.

Anyway... they've done it now. no more excuses about "appointed by the last chairman"... Ashley's made his move. Now lets see how he goes on at sticking by it.

Oh... and Joey Barton... I couldn't care less if he stays or goes. We've got enough problems without signing players with that kind of reputation. If Big Sam couldn't keep him in line I doubt any manager can.