Thrappers Delight - Public Enema the worlds smelliest rap band

[Pervy Perve]

Hey all, kick up the jamms!

I said to the chip shop the chippy the chippy i'm off soon for me tea
I'm gonna get me a tray of chips with a pudding and some mushy peas.
Now ya might all wonder what i'm talking about so i'm here to make you see,
That I go by the name of Pervy Perve because my momma gave it me.

See when I was a little baby boy, my momma caught me playing with my toy
2 balls and a microphone, well she wasn't too happy when she saw my bone
so she gave me the name that's stuck with me and i'm sure you'll agree
That i've earned it true and i've earned it well since I was just the age of 3

Because my neighbour came round one summertime she was here to see my mum
I thought, ''Damn women, turn aound so I can check out your lovely bum!''
She was looking fly in her miniskirt with a tight top and a book
So I stuck my head right underneath just to have a little look

Now I noticed she had brought her pet along when I saw it's furry lips
but to my surprise it didn't woof or purr or try to bite me with it
So I stuck my hand up reaching out just to give it a little stroke
And thought it mustn't yet have woken up so I gave it a little poke

Now what I saw I couldn't believe my eyes as and it really made them bulge
like the front of my pants in my tight corduroys and it soon made them full
I played like I wasn't bothered at first as I kept my hands away from her
cos I thought i'd seen it all before when I sucked on my momma's pair

But she snatched me out pretty quickly before my finger was even dry
Told me her old man was giving plenty of that so I shouldn't even try
She said ''Hey, you'll be getting plenty of that when you're much older dear...
.. unless the offies lose their licences or the pubs run out of beer''

Now later on I was biting my nails and something didn't taste right
but knew it wasn't from scratching my arse cos my finger didn't taste of shite
but instead it tasted ever so nice but of what, I couldn't say
and it made my dingaling ever so hard so I gave it a little play

So I grew up hard and and I grew up fast and i'm sure you will agree
that I prefer a warm drink to coffee and a hot cup of tea
Cos horlicksing is what I do best and if you don't agree with me
then put my tongue to the test cos i'll do it now for free

Cause I am the Pervy Perve of the group Public Enema
and my lyrics smell like a tramps arse that's sprinkled in vinegar
We're the smelliest group that you ever heard but for us try to find the time
our last record sold so bad ya see our contract went to a frigging mime

Chuck D... is our preacher teacher and ya better agree with him live
because D... stands for 'dirt' ya see and it's best not to give him jive
Cause I once saw a pair of rockers who tried to give him a load of shit
but he returned non friendly fire and covered them in it

Now the next member of the family is called Biz Marquee
because he can't seem to pass an erection by without taking a shit ya see
he soils his pants like he has no arse and when we travel to the show
he has to buy extra seat tickets for the flys he takes through the door

Poop Doggy Dogg used to hang with us when we called him on the phone
When Will Smith did 'Big Willy style' he used to throw him a frikkin bone
But the Dogg marked out his territory and kicked in his back door
And he had to change his name back ya see when he wasn't a Fresh Prince no more

Now Lovebutt Starski sang Amytiville (The House On The Hill)
so he flew first class to LAX when he heard what had happened to Will
but nothing could prepare him for what was about to happen next
when he had a litter 9 months later he retired his 'pulling' kecks

Kurtis Blow was listening too he couldn't wait for his piece of ass
and made his way over too to take a Dogg for a stroll round the grass
He dropped to his knees to give the game away about the meaning of his name
Now there's no more Ruling of the world since the Dogg put him on the game

Those are The Breaks and now the Beastie Boys are filthy like their name ya see
because MCA - Mucky Crappy Arse used to try to sit on me
but I wasn't having any of it and grabbed Mix Master Mike
who mixed up some new shit then we smeared it on his mic

Well Crappers Delight inspired me when I found the video one day
It was left inside the vcr when I pressed the button 'Play'
My dad thought it was hidden in the floorsafe under the wardrobe and some hangers
but just like the video I was gonna be watching he must have dropped some massive Clangers

Because I ain't seen so many brown people until the Cosby's came along
and showed us how to dance like cnuts, it couldn't be more wrong
Bill Cosby was like our favourite uncle but was into dodgy jazz
a bit like his on screen daughter then who sold her cute ass

So we hope you liked the party jam and if ya didn't, well it's tough
because we never offer refunds and we're smelly like a nasty guff
We're just some brothers from the street of a place yall never know
so last one to read this message move along then close the door

[PepeLePew]

Loved the reference to Nics