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#1
31st August 2007, 02:19 PM
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| My Sexual Ineptitude I have a great story from my younger days, was tellin it to my mates on Friday and was reminded about it after someone on another forum I go on mentioned about accidentally headbutted a girl in the face once whilst shaggin her. When I was about 20 I went to Jabez Clegg and was hammered, to the point where my memory just crashed but I just kept on as normal The next thing I know im coming out of Angel Delight about 3am and upon taking in some fresh air, gain slight restrospective on the situation I look at my phone and notice all these abusive messages of this girl who I had never noticed in my phone before, waiting for a taxi I ring it and get even more abuse and after a few moments find out that I had pulled this girl in Jabez, taken each others numbers, spent an hour canoodling and then as I was leaving walked straight past her and pulled the girl standing about 3 feet away from her After about 5 minutes she begrudgingly tells me where she lives and I jump in a taxi in the persuit of more abuse and to find out who the hell she is, on the basis it was on my way home and I could apologise On the trip down I tell the driver about this and explain that I have no idea who she is and going off my state prior I was wary of her being some kind of hobgoblin I told the taxi to wait and him looking incredibly excited was well happy about this, I told him that if she was horrible or aggressive I would quickly make my excuses and jump back in I got to Fallowfield and he pulled up outside Owens Park, a few seconds later she appeared screaming at me, callin me a knob, twat etc I looked at the taxi and ushered him to go. She was very aggressive but also very fit but the taxi didnt want to leave, after a few minutes he did but I was sure he wanted to be invited in After about 10 minutes of abuse and me just staring at her smirking to myself, she calmed down and invited me in out of the cold, especially since my taxi had driven off when I had asked him to wait, the bastard. Got in there and I made us a brew, after a while I won her over and we stole a bottle of wine out of her friends fridge, we nailed that, then another and bearing in mind I was already twatted we ended up both wasted things moved to the bedroom and without going into too much detail I was underneath and decided that I now wanted to be on top Unsteady on my feet as I picked her up and turned her round, I slipped on her wooden floor and in a kind of wrestlemania 5 style manoeuvre 'Power-Slammed' her head first into the hard, cold floor The shock to her of this happening and the impossibility of me not laughing at my own crapness just made it even funnier and we continued on the floor The next day I received a text off her saying I had given her a mild concussion and she had a massive bruise on her head Beats my mates headbutt anyday! Anyone got anything to share? I strangely have many stories like this      |
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#2
31st August 2007, 02:26 PM
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| For my own safety i dare not join in this thread, but mate thats a corker ya mad fker lol 
__________________ "The mind is most often a wonderful thing, but, it can be a fearsome enemy." |
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#5
31st August 2007, 03:16 PM
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| How come you don't type like that normally on this forum, you usually type like you text  |
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#6
31st August 2007, 03:18 PM
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| Quote:
its been about a year since i have type on this forum anyways who's asking you |
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#7
31st August 2007, 03:21 PM
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| Made my day that! Total comedy. If only I coud regail you all with a story that good! Actually I can think of one involving a young Italian Exchange student I met in the Hac . . .. but Best left I think!
__________________  Keep The Faith!!! Mr Radish. |
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#8
31st August 2007, 03:25 PM
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| Quote:
Of course not  Spotlight is fully on you, young sir (aka the_fadge)  |
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#9
31st August 2007, 03:37 PM
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| LMAO Steaders, doh!!!  But 'younger days'  your only 22 now lol |
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#10
31st August 2007, 03:41 PM
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| TextMi.com - Forum: My Sexual Ineptitude Thought it seemed a bit well written for you I'd change it about a bit/re-type it or make up your own stories |
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#11
31st August 2007, 03:44 PM
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| Quote:
Although i suppose he never actually said it was his story lol |
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#12
31st August 2007, 04:29 PM
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#13
31st August 2007, 04:31 PM
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#14
31st August 2007, 09:55 PM
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 i mean Scott i know your not that sad, trying to prove people wrong! if your not happy Scott get a girlfriend hey textmi is a brilliant place for women Manchester based forum too |
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#15
31st August 2007, 10:19 PM
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| Quote:
__________________  WE ALL SMILE. WE ALL SING FINE YOUNG GALAHAD |
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