Call Centre Conversations...

[betty spaghetti]

Nicked from another site But its funny so its OK

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: ? ? "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?".

Operator: ? ? "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

Customer: ? ? "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"

Operator: ? ? "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: ? ? ? ? ?"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: ? ? "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about".

Caller: ? ? ? ? ?"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states
that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC ?wall socket and
telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: ? ? ?"I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: ? ? ? ? ?"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia ?"

Operator: ? ? ?" Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in
Cardiff please".

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
correct?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but
the 'B' fell off".

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: ? ? ? ?"Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in
Scotland ".

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Tech Support: ? ? ?"I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: ? ? ? ? ? ? "OK".

Tech Support: ? ? ?"Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: ? ? ? ? ? ? "No".

Tech Support: ? ? ?"OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: ? ? ? ? ? ? "No".

Tech Support: ? ? ?"OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?".

Customer: ? ? ? ? ? ?"Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'".

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Tech Support: ? ? ? ? ?"OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: ?"I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
file back again?".

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word
Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (Now I
know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Went away?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"They disappeared."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: ? ? ?"Nothing."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Nothing??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"How do I tell?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"What's a monitor?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I don't know."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, I think so."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, it is."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "No."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Okay, here it is."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I can't reach."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "No."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Dark??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I can't."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"No? Why not??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: ?"A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?"Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a
computer!!!!!"

[Mr Radish]

Check this!!! Well funny!

[LEGAL__EYEZ]

Originally Posted by Mr Radish

Check this!!! Well funny!

Haha "Jesus christ Diane, do us a favour and listen to that last call for me please"

You'd have to phone him one more time

[LEGAL__EYEZ]

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word
Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (Now I
know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Went away?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"They disappeared."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: ? ? ?"Nothing."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Nothing??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"How do I tell?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"What's a monitor?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I don't know."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, I think so."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, it is."

Operator: ? ? ? ? "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "No."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Okay, here it is."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I can't reach."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "No."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"Dark??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "I can't."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ?"No? Why not??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: ?"A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??"

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them??"

Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?"Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a
computer!!!!!"
__________________

Cracked me right up that did

[MizzDeedz]

I used to work for the RAC and it used to crack me up the amount of numptys that would call in. The austrailia one is similar to one i had.

Customer : I am going on holiday and want to take out your Europeon cover to in case i break down abroad.
ME: ok sir and where in europe are you going.
Customer: America.
ME: Sir we dont do rac cover for america
Customer: And Why not?
ME: well sir - for one its not in Europe............
Customer 'CLICK'

the muppet put the phone down on me.

hahhhhahaha


also used to get pervs ringing in and heavy breathing lol - had one guy who used to ring up quite often (and he hid his phone number too) and ask if you were wearing tan coloured tights (we called him tantight man) was so funny