The best friends - men or women?

[Jiglo]

Whadaya reckon?

[Shooms]

Sheep !

[Amelie]

Neither (that looks all wrong, what about the 'i' before 'e' rule anyhew?), you can't generalise- its the individual that counts.

Though i have to say, i find men easier in general. Less demanding and shit.

[nics]

i cant realy choose to be honest, ive got my bestfriends who are girls but ive also got realy close friendships with my male friends.

ive been invited out on so many nights out with work and its mainly groups of girls and i never end up going out with them coz i find them to be too bitchy........when the lads nights out come up im always asked to go out and 9 times out of 10 i go out coz its such a laugh and to be honest i find them better company to be in.

[Jiglo]

Originally Posted by Shooms

Sheep !

Yeah after dogs come sheep, that goes without saying

Women are more comforting and men are more forgiving?

[Miss C]

Women are fabulous friends.. Men you have to get around the problem that they probably want more, more often than not, unless you're a man of course.

[Sam]

Men definately, women are way too bitchy

[Stylee]

this poll is wrong, my hermaphrodite work mate is insulted that they are not mentioned in this poll.
Shame on you jim lad

[northern minx]

a best friend in my opinion is a best friend full stop!
because of many many qualities that are not alot to do with whether they are male or female

my bestest friends in the whole world are a mixture of both men and women, and my relationships with them all differ as they are all unique, they all have different strengths and weaknesses, and the one thing they all have in common is that they are honest, consistant and committed to sharing a friendship
friends are beautiful, they light up my life and bring laughter even on the cloudy days.. i am defo absolutely blessed with my friends, both male and female

[Stylee]

Originally Posted by northern minx

a best friend in my opinion is a best friend full stop!
because of many many qualities that are not alot to do with whether they are male or female

your best m8 a hermaphrodite too?

[biggz]

Defoe Men. Women Spend To Much Time On That Emosinal Rollercoaster They Call Life. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

[very puddled]

defo men as my best mate is my hubby i know im gushy but anyway woman are very highly strung and men just chilled out

[li'l Sonz]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Women are fabulous friends.. Men you have to get around the problem that they probably want more, more often than not, unless you're a man of course.

I kind of disagree with this. Although there may be some truth in this, I don't think that MOST of the time men want something more. I have plenty of male friends and I'm pretty sure for the most part it's always been purely platonic from their side as it certainly has always been from my side!

Obviously I'm not that delusional that I think men are robots and of course sometimes they want more but I think once they know they're not getting any they move on! lol

Just like MOST of the time *not all women want something more. (It deffo applies for both-women can also be in friendships coz they want more too.)


I answered either.
This is because friendships with men and women are different. They both have different pro's (and con's). You use their friendships for different things (not like that before anyone makes stupid comments lol )

x

[Miss C]

Originally Posted by li'l Sonz

I kind of disagree with this. Although there may be some truth in this, I don't think that MOST of the time men want something more. I have plenty of male friends and I'm pretty sure for the most part it's always been purely platonic from their side as it certainly has always been from my side!

Obviously I'm not that delusional that I think men are robots and of course sometimes they want more but I think once they know they're not getting any they move on! lol

Just like MOST of the time women want something more. (It deffo applies for both-women can also be in friendships coz they want more too.)


I answered either.
This is because friendships with men and women are different. They both have different pro's (and con's). You use their friendships for different things (not like that before anyone makes stupid comments lol )

x

Well, I guess it depends on the individual/s, can't generalise either way. Its usually a certain breed of boyfriend that tries convincing you that every male friend you have is in it because they want to get in your hoo haas, for the purposes of warding you off them. I gave it alot of thought a while back, and discussed it with a male compadre, & came to the conclusion that whilst its probably true (in many, not all cases) that they would if they could, that isn't always the sole or major reason for the friendship. & as you get older & develop more mature friendships/work relationships etc obviously things change.

But even so, i'd rather be 100% comfortable I could sleep in a bed with someone & mess around naked if I wanted safe in the knowledge they weren't thinking/trying anything ditty. NOT that all men would, just with a best mate i'd rather not have to keep barriers up.

So I guess this includes gay men.
I do envy thyne rose tinted spectacles sonzo.

[Ed]

I've got a lot of female friends (not cos I'm a gayer Shooms) and a lot of male ones as well. I actually, in the midst of conversation or discussion, forget completely the sex of who I'm talking to, it doesn't realy matter. I read somewhere that you make friends with people you aspire to be like, or perhaps another view is that your friends are exactly like you are, but sometimes you can't see that yourself, sometimes for years, and then yu realise, 'God' I'm like that!'. This can be in the positive or the negative lol.

As for blokes 'wanting more' although a generalisation, there's probably a lot of truth in this. I think when you are very attracted to someone, either physically or as a whole person, its hard not to think that way, at least in the first instance. If the guy is mature though, and perhaps more importantly the female is frank, honest and does not seek to manipulate out of being flattered by the attention in any way, then a good honest friendship can form easily. Again this depends on the maturity of the woman in question.

I remember seeing an interview with Dustin Hoffman reasonably recently where he said he only realised late in life that he'd pretty much ignored every woman he'd been introduced to that he didn't feel physically/sexually attracted to. He said when he realised this, he literally burst into tears, not just out of embarrassment at his own shallowness, but out of all the missed opportunities to form meaningful friendships/relationships with amazing, interesting, inspiring women.

As a man out of his 20's and over the wild uncontrollable 'mojo' phase of my life (its still there and ready for action, its just the jedi training has kicked in and I am more aware of its power now!) I can totally relate to that. Of course when you meet someone you feel wildly attracted to physically, the 'Need to fuck' instinct kicks in, its in all of us. I'm pretty sure its in most women as well, just not as pronounced as in men.

Because I have a lot of female friends, someone who is insecure is not the girl for Ed. It just wouldn't work. I would never, ever make a girlfriend feel second best to one of my friends, the relationship as a lover is different. But I'm not going to not show a female friend affection and love. This fits in with the controlling thread. An insecure person will project those insecurities onto an innocent friendship.

Again though, I've been in a situation where a girl I was seeing did not care about making me feel second best to others that caught her eye. If I'd been less insecure at the time I'd have told her it wasn't acceptable and walked away. As it was I tolerated it and I suffered as a result. This isn't trying to control, its just knowing what is acceptable to you, and sticking to it. Take nothing less, because you get what you deserve.

Was supposed to be a short reply, its a mini essay lol. I'll come back to this no doubt, that's just off the top of my head.