The best friends - men or women?

[li'l Sonz]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Well, I guess it depends on the individual/s, can't generalise either way. Its usually a certain breed of boyfriend that tries convincing you that every male friend you have is in it because they want to get in your hoo haas, for the purposes of warding you off them. I gave it alot of thought a while back, and discussed it with a male compadre, & came to the conclusion that whilst its probably true (in many, not all cases) that they would if they could, that isn't always the sole or major reason for the friendship. & as you get older & develop more mature friendships/work relationships etc obviously things change.

But even so, i'd rather be 100% comfortable I could sleep in a bed with someone & mess around naked if I wanted safe in the knowledge they weren't thinking/trying anything ditty. NOT that all men would, just with a best mate i'd rather not have to keep barriers up.

So I guess this includes gay men.
I do envy thyne rose tinted spectacles sonzo.

I read the question as saying who make the best friends. Not who would make your BEST friend. If that makes sense.

I think I would always have a woman as my bestest friend (gota be lora-also lozzie but shes family so it doesnt count the same lol) but I have some REALLY close male friends too. Sort of my best mates but in a male way. I've slept in a bed with these people and there has never been owt gone on. I'm not sure if this is just coz I make things clear that nowt else is ever gona happen lol or that they just dont see me like that. Either way, I speak to them about a lot of the same things I do with my female friends and get a really good male perspective.

[T.C]

Originally Posted by Shooms

... it's down to individual personality & that undefinable ability to either 'click' or not as the case may be...

It's great to have a wide range of friends too (of both sexes) so no matter what the circumstances (be it football hooliganism, watching Phantom of the Opera, snorting your own vomit etc etc) there's always someone special in your life that you can share it with

euww, lmao

well said Shooms too... that 'clicking' thing is important to me , most people I'm closest to I've clicked with from the word go

Generally , my closest mates are lads (excepy Sam, lol) I'm not really a girly girl so guess that could be why I get on with lads better as a general rule of thumb. Maybe its coz of my brothers I'm comfy round lads, I dunno
I find with lads its usually easier to be totally straight with eachother / say what you mean without causing offence / making someone crumble. I'd feel a bit more mean telling it liike it is to a girl sometimes, lol.
That said , thats how me and Sam operate too - being very frank / honest with eachother , but then she's not a girly girl either.

As has been said, whatever sex they are, if their personality / outlook etc.. appeal to me then thats that, dont give a hoot what bits they posess
Its peopel who make me laugh til I cry, and are genuine who I really take to

As far as partners go, I find it hard to relate to being with someone who I dont also consider one of my best friends as well as a partner to me there has to be strong friendship aspect there too to be a big building block or the relationship.

Actually, no...fook it...I hate everybody, people are twatting twats











j/k lol

[Miss C]

Originally Posted by betty spaghetti

Yeah I totally agree with ya Cheryl having someone who you can trust and having someone you value is ace, i try and look for that in most friendships. i love my bezzy mate. shes ace. weve known each other since we were like 2 yrs old, We have our disagreements and debates but its all in a good way and we can tell each other exactly what we are thinking without prejudice, its the one person in the world who i know who will tell me how it is, an i love her for it.

Shes all grown up now tho with 2 gorgeous little girls and trianing to be a teacher so dont get to go out on maduns as much with her now

Shes always gonna be my bitch-She knows too much about me lol

Awww, fookin love women

The best mate I was referring to has just moved to Marbella
It was awful trying to be supportive about it when I reeeeeeally didn't want her to go. The great thing with her is, nomatter how long we don't see each other for, when we meet up its like we've never been away, its the best unconditional friendship, we've both got really busy lives now but manage to speak on the phone every couple of days. She makes everything shitty smell of roses

If a male friend could be as caring, understanding, accepting, trustworthy, non-judgemental, emotionally open and honest without ulterior motives as my girlfriends, well, that would be great, i'm sure they can be, but at twenty my current male peers are still clinging to their balls...

[Miss C]

Oh and Spaghetti - about having your debates, we've smacked each other before & just ended up laughing lol.

how many stab wounds you wanted in your back at Any one time!

LOL!!

[Miss Cola]

As i was growing up i always hung out with lads more then girls my bessy mate was a lad and we talked about everything together i could trust him 100%.


I have a best mate roz who will stick by me no matter what, and also have a really sound bunch of friends who i know will just be apart of my life forever this obviously includes biskit he is just so speical to me.

We all have had arguments with each other but you learn to get on with it and make up, it would just be a boring life if everything was rosey and everyone was nice all the time. lol.

So to me it doesnt matter if my best mate is male or female there both just as good.

[Lozzie]

Either or, and for different reasons.

Men - You get to say exactly what is on your mind as bluntly as you need to, without the fear that someone will be offended (you cant so much with girls, guys will understand this. I learnt this from living with a load of males, and being able comfortably to say what i meant, and it not be held against me!)

Women - Coz there is just some things women are better at. like noticing when you feel a bit shitty, without you having to make a song and dance. Men dont generally get the subtleties. And obv clothes talk and general women stuff.

I dont think there is any person who doesn't weigh up who they would and wouldnt sleep with when they first meet people.Even if it takes a second. But sometimes that fizzles away to complete platonic, it just would never happen stuff. I have male mates who i can happily cuddle up with and there is no people wishing they could have sex etc (all though i'm sure some have in the past). There is one mate who I have (male) who neither him nore I have any sort of sexual attraction (we've dissgussed it...). We're like brother and sister really. Although to realise we don't wanna ever sleep with each other, the question must have been raised at some point in our minds.


men and women are equally as good...

[Lozzie]

Originally Posted by li'l Sonz

my bestest friend (gota be lora-also lozzie but shes family so it doesnt count the same lol)

Awwww Sonz, love you too you little shit stain! Family does count i think...it's not like you're instantly bessie pals coz ur family...(loving the arguement I had with han on eds b-day...qual fam moment!)

Awww...good one sonz

[Lozzie]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Its just weird with SOME close male/female friendships, where are the boundaries? how do you distinguish your feelings? particularly if you're a man! Loads of male/fem friendships turn into relationships, so theres obviously a bit of both going on sometimes.

I can obviously nly speak from my experiences...but when Ive had a very close relationship with a male, my feelings could be disgussed I think...it's just easy with the bloke bessies Ive had/have. I think some blokes confuse closeness with boyfriend/girlfriend status though too...im sure some women do too. But to me, a relationship that should go beyond the just mates stage is felt by both parties...like "we're best mates...but I'd love to sleep with you" Like a spark.

I do though, think there is things I dont know about, coz ive not seen it myself...every friendship is completely different I suppose.

[Miss C]

Originally Posted by Lozzie

Either or, and for different reasons.

Men - You get to say exactly what is on your mind as bluntly as you need to, without the fear that someone will be offended (you cant so much with girls, guys will understand this. I learnt this from living with a load of males, and being able comfortably to say what i meant, and it not be held against me!)

Women - Coz there is just some things women are better at. like noticing when you feel a bit shitty, without you having to make a song and dance. Men dont generally get the subtleties. And obv clothes talk and general women stuff.

I dont think there is any person who doesn't weigh up who they would and wouldnt sleep with when they first meet people.Even if it takes a second. But sometimes that fizzles away to complete platonic, it just would never happen stuff. I have male mates who i can happily cuddle up with and there is no people wishing they could have sex etc (all though i'm sure some have in the past). There is one mate who I have (male) who neither him nore I have any sort of sexual attraction (we've dissgussed it...). We're like brother and sister really. Although to realise we don't wanna ever sleep with each other, the question must have been raised at some point in our minds.


men and women are equally as good...

Brilliantly put Lozzer.