Out of all the people you've been out with

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Thats not to say when you are truly ready it will automatically come, obviously you won't just fall head over heels for the dribbling tramp on the street corner because you have learned all your lessons of acceptance etc lol, but you catch my drift

That's Lottie fucked then

I loved that post Chez - puts into perspective my relationships... I think I met the final one too soon - c'est la vie I'll have fun in the interim until we are both ready

[mr ben]

Originally Posted by PepeLePew

Agree with that too. Took me 2 years before I unleashed myself on the unsuspecting female population again; after one particularly crap bust-up

pepe... that was funny as fuck mate, pmsl mate...you make your self sound like jack the ripper mate.....

[Ed]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Exactly. I think that only at the point when you have nothing left to learn in that respect (obviously not including the trillions of wonderful experiences and lessons you can learn from growing with your final partner, which i'd put in a diffrerent category), not until you are truly ready, will that relationship happen. Because it simply can't happen otherwise, there will always be things that go 'wrong' as a result of your inner development needs reflecting back on the relationship. For example, in the form of jealousy/insecurity.

Thats not to say when you are truly ready it will automatically come, obviously you won't just fall head over heels for the dribbling tramp on the street corner because you have learned all your lessons of acceptance etc lol, but you catch my drift

At this rate I will be that dribbling tramp!

I've often thought that, especially when I look at friends who have been in loving stable relationships for years. They just seemed to instinctively attract one another, even when they were 19 (still together now at 34, very happy). Now I was a right handful at that age, so there was no question of me attracting someone who was ready for a mature relationship! I kind of put it down to a karma thing, for whatever reason I have had a lot of lessons to learn before I'm ready.

And just when you think you are, life tells you you aren't lol!

[Ed]

QUOTE=Shooms;564358]That's Lottie fucked then

I loved that post Chez - puts into perspective my relationships... I think I met the final one too soon - c'est la vie I'll have fun in the interim until we are both ready[/quote]

Blow up dolls don't count Shoom.

[Miss C]

Originally Posted by Ed

At this rate I will be that dribbling tramp!

I've often thought that, especially when I look at friends who have been in loving stable relationships for years. They just seemed to instinctively attract one another, even when they were 19 (still together now at 34, very happy). Now I was a right handful at that age, so there was no question of me attracting someone who was ready for a mature relationship! I kind of put it down to a karma thing, for whatever reason I have had a lot of lessons to learn before I'm ready.

And just when you think you are, life tells you you aren't lol!

I wonder that too, maybe relationship lessons/consequences are part of a much bigger personal journey. But we won't get into that lol.

[The Joker]

Originally Posted by Ed

Blow up dolls don't count Shoom.

PMSLOLOLOLOL I think his 'final' one blew up & he's gotta wait the intertim till the next one gets delievered

[li'l Sonz]

Originally Posted by Miss C

One definitely not from the start, I let myself get coaxed into it and he grew on me, but it lasted 3 years! I was a different person then.

The next person I chose I was definitely into from the start, I made sure I was after the last one.

I think every relationship chisels at you and shapes you a little more (or alot more), you choose that person for a reason.

Its interesting looking back at the type of people you choose as lovers at certain times in your life as you change, my boyfriends have fitted in with who I was and what I was about at the time, its almost as though once all necessary lessons were learned from the particular person, the relationship expired and I moved on to something/someone different that matched new requirements.

I totally see what everyones saying about not settling for anything less than perfect, but does that not get a little labourious? What if you're not ready for perfection? Surely once you find perfection thats that, call off the search, job done. There is definitely something sparkly and beneficial about the middle bit, the trial and error, thats almost as important and enjoyable in my eyes.

I know what you mean about how it's fun in the mean time lookng coz it really does shape you into the person you become.

When I was with my ex, I liked him but I was under no illusions that it was going to last forever and that all was perfect. I just kinda wanted it to work out coz we did have some really good times together.

I'm not gona go into things too much now in regards to what I have but I think that we've had this amazing bond from the beginning and even tho problems sometimes arise (as they do with any relationship) probably due to the fact that there's an age gap, we've always been able to sort things out and talk about it. We've got things with each other that we have never had with other partners and that's pretty darn special.... I think as long as we can do this and keep having fun then you can keep it special!

Even though I'm young I'm not unwise or whatever and I've been through stuff a lot of people my age haven't. Thus being able to understand a lot more things than people my age can.

I don't think the way I am is a reflection of my age (although I'm not always as articulate on the computer as I am in person-typing annoys me lol) and I don't want people thinking that I'm just off in my little fantasy world coz I'm "only 19".

So please people, let's not start that one..........

xx

[Ed]

Originally Posted by li'l Sonz

I know what you mean about how it's fun in the mean time lookng coz it really does shape you into the person you become.

When I was with my ex, I liked him but I was under no illusions that it was going to last forever and that all was perfect. I just kinda wanted it to work out coz we did have some really good times together.

I'm not gona go into things too much now in regards to what I have but I think that we've had this amazing bond from the beginning and even tho problems sometimes arise (as they do with any relationship) probably due to the fact that there's an age gap, we've always been able to sort things out and talk about it. We've got things with each other that we have never had with other partners and that's pretty darn special.... I think as long as we can do this and keep having fun then you can keep it special!

Even though I'm young I'm not unwise or whatever and I've been through stuff a lot of people my age haven't. Thus being able to understand a lot more things than people my age can.

I don't think the way I am is a reflection of my age (although I'm not always as articulate on the computer as I am in person-typing annoys me lol) and I don't want people thinking that I'm just off in my little fantasy world coz I'm "only 19".

So please people, let's not start that one..........

xx

Got nothing to do with age Sonz, when you are ready you are ready, when the time is right the time is right

[Ed]

Originally Posted by The Joker

PMSLOLOLOLOL I think his 'final' one blew up & he's gotta wait the intertim till the next one gets delievered

Popped it with his chaps and spurs combination.

[Ed]

Originally Posted by Miss C

I wonder that too, maybe relationship lessons/consequences are part of a much bigger personal journey. But we won't get into that lol.

Thats another thread and about 5000 years of spiritual writings. But its definitely linked, you are right.

[Miss C]

Originally Posted by Ed

Thats another thread and about 5000 years of spiritual writings.

Exactly why we won't get into it lol. We'll leave that to Michael Newton for today eh

[Ed]

Originally Posted by Miss C

Exactly why we won't get into it lol. We'll leave that to Michael Newton for today eh

I had never heard of Michael Newton before, but how very interesting... I've always quite fancied a go at that. Most of the Buddhist/yoga texts talk of spontaneous past life memories in deep states of meditation, and I can vividly remember a couple of dreams I had before I became interested in such things that I can't really explain.

How about meeting people in this life to resolve relationship issues you had in past ones?!

Now that is what I call a mind fuck!

[amymars]

Aint it funny.........

I went out with a guy for a year who I could not stand. He made me cringe, he didnt understand me, wasn't anything I'd go for.......but it lasted a year. I think a lot of it was to do with age - I just wanted a boyfriend like everyone else..............

I'm very picky and I'm glad about it. Nobody is perfect but I at least want somebody who understands me on a deeper level. Fuck superficial things like music tastes, dress sense - all I am arsed about is that somebody has the same life goals as me. Wants a family, marriage, nice house, good job etc. Somebody that knows when Im up or down, and can see my perspective on things. They dont even have to agree with me! Just that they can understand.
This however, has only ever happened once, and that relationship had extreme ups and downs. I was totally into him from the start, more than I have ever been.

[Ed]

Originally Posted by amymars

Aint it funny.........

I went out with a guy for a year who I could not stand. He made me cringe, he didnt understand me, wasn't anything I'd go for.......but it lasted a year. I think a lot of it was to do with age - I just wanted a boyfriend like everyone else..............

I'm very picky and I'm glad about it. Nobody is perfect but I at least want somebody who understands me on a deeper level. Fuck superficial things like music tastes, dress sense - all I am arsed about is that somebody has the same life goals as me. Wants a family, marriage, nice house, good job etc. Somebody that knows when Im up or down, and can see my perspective on things. They dont even have to agree with me! Just that they can understand.
This however, has only ever happened once, and that relationship had extreme ups and downs. I was totally into him from the start, more than I have ever been.

So would you do that again? Or not?
I hear you on being understood. That's the hardest thing for me, five years in Japan means there aren't many people who think like me, or understand what is important to me. I've only really had one relationship since I came back and a few ill advised flings! I can meet someone who has similar morality, views on life, music tastes (I don't think its superficial, its spiritual man, you can see a person's soul from the music they like!), food tastes, but its still not been enough......yet.


Edit: Or maybe its completely irrelevant and that is why I find it difficult!

[amymars]

I would never ever date anyone again who I didnt really like!
I would only ever consider dating somebody who I really thought I could 'end up' with.
Being understood, being able to know each other deep deep down is the most important thing..........whilst music is important......Im not gonna reject the love of my life because he likes heavy metal and I like house! hehe. If you can find somebody who 'gets' you, and who shares similar tastes to you, then you're onto a winner