Man Vs Woman

[JohnnyPink]

STOP, it's retaliation time.



8 things you will never hear a woman say


8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!
5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger!
How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep

"Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive..."

Why did God invent lesbians?
So feminists wouldn't breed.

Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her in the butt

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by misstickle

Come on boys, us girls are ripping you to shreds, and the come backs almost none existant............... (just like your foreplay!

LOL cant be arsed.... we'll rise above it for now & you ladies will show yr true colours when you start coming to us on yr knees beggin for a bit of head

In the meantime the kitchens that way --------------------------------->

[Saysay]

Why are men like toilets?
They're either: Vacant, Engaged or full of crap.
Why do men have penises? They certainly can't be admired for their brains.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What is the difference between

• a toilet
• the 'g' spot
• wedding anniversaries

Nothing really -- men seem to miss them all

[sweet sensation]

Originally Posted by Shoomster

LOL cant be arsed.... we'll rise above it for now & you ladies will show yr true colours when you start coming to us on yr knees beggin for a bit of head

Errr shouldnt that be the other way round ?????

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by sweet sensation

Errr shouldnt that be the other way round ?????

fair comment I suppose... if both men & women could give themselves head then the human race would die out lol

anyway - who let you back on the puter when you should be packing & cleaning & vacuming (ie. womans work)

[Northern Star]

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.......
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need........

[JohnnyPink]

Originally Posted by Shoomster

fair comment I suppose... if both men & women could give themselves head then the human race would die out lol

anyway - who let you back on the puter when you should be packing & cleaning & vacuming (ie. womans work)

lolol. Tell her shooms. Who made her lead too long so she could get to the puter from the kitchen.

[JohnnyPink]

Originally Posted by Northern Star

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.......
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need........

and the problem with that is??????????????????

[sweet sensation]

Im having a break from packing, cos Ive done a fair bit Ive just sat down with a bacon sarnie

I have come to the conclusion, from observation and experience, that men are like farts. Unpleasant experiences that we must walk through and the only good thing about it is that we learn how long we can really hold our breath.

[Northern Star]

Originally Posted by sweet sensation

Im having a break from packing, cos Ive done a fair bit Ive just sat down with a bacon sarnie

I have come to the conclusion, from observation and experience, that men are like farts. Unpleasant experiences that we must walk through and the only good thing about it is that we learn how long we can really hold our breath.

lol......

[cam]

Here's something to ponder over In 1809, Mary Dixon Kies received the first U. S. patent issued to a woman.

As you probably know that men have been inventing since caveman times, ie tools and weapons,

So if we think that bar having kids, for around 2000+ years women have sat on there fat ( and yes it usually does look fat in that, we just say it doesnt to get a shag ) arse's till the early 1800's and then bang on about equal opportunity's and all that malarky.

Well I tell you whats bloody equal, you bloody women can sort everything out while we do sweet FA but sit on our arses and complain about the weather and that theres bugger all on telly or our teas not the right temperature etc etc...... for the next 2000 years

Oh and one more thing before I go for a wank cause its my break time, if it wernt for men, sex in the city would have been shite (not that ive ever seen it, but surely it would have been shite about a load of lesbians)

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by sweet sensation

I have come to the conclusion, from observation and experience, that men are like farts. Unpleasant experiences that we must walk through and the only good thing about it is that we learn how long we can really hold our breath.

LOL I'll give you that - thats well funny (although not true at all )

[sweet sensation]

Here you go a quote that directly answers your question Jonny and this was quoted by a man



'Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and fragile. Men, not women, are the weaker sex.'


There you go, end of debate

[Shooms]

Originally Posted by sweet sensation

A quote that directly answers your question Jonny and this was quoted ny a man



'Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and fragile. Men, not women, are the weaker sex.'


There you go, end of debate

mass debate more like.... what tosh.... lol

[JohnnyPink]

Originally Posted by sweet sensation

Here you go a quote that directly answers your question Jonny and this was quoted by a man



'Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and fragile. Men, not women, are the weaker sex.'


There you go, end of debate

Yeah but, you don't see whats on the inside do you, so basically that comment only works as a hyperthetical one meaning that basically it's bollox. Men rule, girls smell. HUH!