Sexual harassment?

[fugjostle]

Q. What's the difference between a woman from Wigan and a walrus?
A. One's got a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the sea.

Q. What's the difference between PMT and BSE?
A. One's a mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem.

Q. Why did God give women orgasms?
A. So they've got something else to moan about.

Q. How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
A. Wipe your willy on the curtains.

Q. How is a man like a used car?
A. Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.

Q. Why did God make man first?
A. He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.

Q. How do you stop a man from raping you?
A. Throw him the remote control.

Q. What do Kermit the frog and Roseanne Barrs' husband have in common?
A. They both enjoy f**king pigs.

Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Q. What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
A. One is hairy, smelly, and is always scratching its arse and the
other's a chimpanzee.

Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a tart.

Q. Why can't you trust a woman?
A. How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

Q. What's the best way to a man's heart?
A. Through the back with a Stanley knife.

Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMT and a pitbull
terrier?
A. Lipstick.

Q. Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask directions.

Q. Why is a woman like a dog turd?
A. The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

Q. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
A. Her navel.

Q. Why don't women have men's brains?
A. Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q. What do electric toy trains and breasts have in common?
A. They're usually intended for the children, but it's the husbands who end up playing with them.

Q. How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q. What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common?
A. By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.

Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A. E.T. phones home.

Q. Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
A. Because you could put another pair of tits in there.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q. Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A. Because men fake foreplay.

Q. What have a fat bird and a scooter got in common?
A. They're both a good ride but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on either.

Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.

Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. 60p a minute.

Q. How are women and rocks alike?
A. You skip the flat ones.

Q. What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting
circumcised?
A. When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick.

Q. Why did the army send so many premenstrual women to the Gulf?
A. Because they fought like animals and retained water for four days.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a tart?
A. A tart sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A. A man will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
A. Patient.

[The Joker]