View Full Version : French Intellectuals To Be Deployed In Afghanistan

The Joker
12th March 2002, 10:11 AM
For Immediate Release: March 2002

Kabul, March 7, 2002 (Reuters) - The clean-up portion of the ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving the non-existence of God.

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets',will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris' Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points near the front lines.

There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.

Their leader, Colonel Bernard-Henri Levi-Jeans, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Levi-Jeans, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliette, I am talking."

Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock.

However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmen's endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

The Frog Meister
12th March 2002, 11:44 AM

* packs bags *

I think I have a new caf to build!!!
God this is really just build, build, build!!!!!

* hopes onto plan and pours over the new blueprints :p *

The Joker
12th March 2002, 11:46 AM
Thought u'd like that 1!!!!

The Frog Meister
12th March 2002, 12:03 PM

I have even rated it for you... at 5 of course!