PDA

View Full Version : Hate Male



Vickles
6th October 2005, 09:15 AM
My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood
it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on
his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted
it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded.

He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a good
idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart'.

He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave
you?' She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b@stard'.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
A: Reload and try again!

:D :D :D :D :D

Ponka
6th October 2005, 07:28 PM
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.



Ponka lol :D

Ponka
6th October 2005, 07:32 PM
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.


:D :D :D :D :D



LOL Charlie :he she:

Vickles
6th October 2005, 07:45 PM
Ponka lol :D

I don't get it :S

Ponka
6th October 2005, 07:51 PM
Thicko lol



Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: Ponka


Its quite simple really honey...... :roll:

Vickles
6th October 2005, 07:52 PM
I was being sarcy thicko!!!!

Vickles
7th October 2005, 08:02 AM
LOL Charlie :he she:

LOL When will I get to meet the famous Charlie :he she:

Saysay
7th October 2005, 08:32 AM
Lol, liking them vickles. ;)

==Lee==
7th October 2005, 09:01 AM
My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood

lol thats funny :D