View Full Version : Blatant Bollox

30th January 2002, 11:05 AM
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day, resting.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made", said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North
America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America
is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hotspot and
Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white
people and over there is a continent of black people,"

God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small area of
land and said, "What's that ?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Liverpool, the most glorious place on Earth. There
are beautiful people, 2 great football teams, 2 impressive cathedrals and
is the home to one of the worlds greatest ever pop group. The people from
Liverpool are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're
going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the w*nkers I'm putting next to
them in Manchester."

The Frog Meister
30th January 2002, 02:11 PM
hey hey.....

I knew that one but with England being the great place, and France the abnoxious gits!