View Full Version : Funny text messages!!!

4th February 2004, 10:35 AM
Some funny and crude text messages!!! :thumbsup:

I got a new car radio,shout soul and it plays soul, shout rock and it plays rock. kids ran in front of my car and i shouted fucking kids! it played gary glitter!

2 pregnant women r sat nittin 1 says to da otha" i hope i get a boy cos ive started usin blue wool!" the other woman replies " i hope i get a spaz cos ive fucked up the arms!

a woman goes into hospital for a fanny transplant, the doctors cant begin cos the replacement c*nt is readin this txt message!

The dustman knocks on the japanese mans door, "wheres ya bin?", "ive bin to da toilet", "no, u misunderstand! wheres ya wheely bin?", "oh! i wheely bin avin a wank!"

How do you piss off an archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask her wot period it came from!

Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!

If u had sex 365 times in 12 months & u melted down the condoms to make a tyre.what would u call it?........... a fucking Goodyear

Im sorry i couldn't take your call or respond to your message... I was at the doctor having a mole removed from my dick.I'll never fuck a mole again, ever.

Q:Why were hurricanes usualy named after women? A:Because when they arrive they are wet and wild.but when they go they take your house and the car.

Zippy+Bungle went 2 the jungle havin sum marelous fun, Zippy got silly stuck out hiz willy and stuck it up Bungles bum!

A banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana says to vibrator 'I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna fucking EAT me!'

Whats hard and hairy on the outside, soft and smooth on the inside, starts with a C, ends in a T, and has a U and an N in the middle............................................ ......................
COCONUT, You dirty bastard!

Today is the international day for mentally disabled. Please send an encouraging message to a mentally retarded friend, as i have done.

What do asylum seekers and sperm have in common...
... millions of them get in but only one bastard works!

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye.A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life.John came fifth he won a toaster

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

when i woz a girl, i ad a little quim, i sat upon my bed and put a finger in. Now im a women and full ov' grace and charm, i can get 4 fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!

CHINESE SUNDAY BUFFET MENU:*chu sum twat *suc mi pork *lic mi clit *tungsum chick *goo in hand *fuc sum now *gulp sum kum *cho kon it "ENJOY UR MEAL!

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

sing a song of bum sex,an arse full of cum,4 and 20 fat cocks forced up ur bum,when the orgies over and ur bum beginns 2 sting wasnt it a bad idea 2 take it up the ring!

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework!