View Full Version : Little Johnny

28th August 2003, 09:55 AM
Little Johnny was doing very badly in maths. His parents tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning centres,in short, everything that they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello, instead, he goes straight to his room and starts studying. Books and papers are spread out all over the room and Little Johnny is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for some time, day after day while the Mother tries to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, Little Johnny brings home his report card. Hequietly lays on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books.
With great trepidation, his mum looks at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in Maths. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, what was it? Was it the Nuns?" Little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head. "Well then," she replies "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniform, WHAT was it??" Little Johnny looks at her and says...
"Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fu*king messing."
:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her 11-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love," the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"

"With you!" he replied.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," Johnny said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

:condom: :condom: :condom: :condom: :condom: :condom: :condom:

Prostate exam !!
Witty comments that can be used during prostate exams (that is, if you can actually be witty while someone's hand is up your ass ):

1. "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me now?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincteriffic!"
5. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
13. "Deflector shields: Down!"
:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

The Joker
28th August 2003, 11:30 AM
PMSLOLOLOL gud 1's m8 :thumbsup: